Could You Hurry It up a little?
A man and his wife were cleaning out the attic when the husband found an ancient receipt.
"Hey, Nancy, look at this.
It's a receipt for a pair of shoes I left to be repaired and never picked up.
It's eleven years old."
"You know, that shoe repair shop is still there," replied the wife.
"Why don't you just drop in there and hand him the receipt as if it were nothing unusual."
And that is what the husband did.
Quietly the cobbler went to the back of his shop and poked around a bit,came back to thecounter and said "They'll be ready next Tuesday. "
A Precocious Child
When the door-to-door salesman rang the doorbell of the suburban home,
he was taken a back when a 10-year-old boy opened the door smoking a big cigar.
The salesman could only stammer out, "Er, is your mother at home?"
Answered the boy, "What do you think?"
Don't Get Caught!
Out in the forest preserve, a man strolled up to the fisher man and asked whether he'd hadany luck.
"No,nothing today,but you should see me yesterday. I caught fourteen bass in the morning andanother twelve in the afternoon!"
"Well, that's very interesting. Do you know who I am?"
"I happen to be the game warden."
"Oh.And do you know who I am? I'm the biggest liar you ever laid eyes on."