英语笑话精彩

时间:2020-11-06 13:38:20 英语笑话 我要投稿

英语笑话精彩合集

  笑话是幽默的载体,一个成功的笑话能流传千古,听者和讲者都会感到快乐、欣喜,拍掌叫好!以下是小编为大家准备的英语笑话精彩合集,一起来爆笑吧!

英语笑话精彩合集

  英语笑话精彩合集(一)

  年长者阶层

  During the doctor's periodic visit to my elderly mother, I told him that Mother would be celebrating her 98th birthday in few days. Delighted by the news, he bent down and gave her a kiss for the occasion. He then announced that he, too, would be celebrating a birthday in few days and asked for a kiss in return.When he left, my mother shook her head in disgust. "Can you imagine, " she said. "Seventy dollars and I had to kiss him too!医生按期来探视我的老母。我告诉他母亲不几天就要庆祝她98岁的生日了。医生听了也很高兴,为此,他弯下腰来亲了她一下。然后他说不几天他也要庆祝自己的生日,并要求她还他一个吻。医生走后,我母亲厌恶地摇摇头。“你能想象吗,”她说,“付了他70元,我还得亲他!”

  英语笑话精彩合集(二)

  保证没走错To be on the Safe Side

  In a cinema during a performance one of the audience gets up, makes his way along the row of seats and goes out into the foyer.

  在一家电影院里,一名观众在演出期间站了起来,沿着他那排位子走到休息室去了。

  A few minutes later he returns and asks the man sitting at the head of the row:

  几分钟后,他回到那排位子并问坐在首位的那位男士道:

  "Excuse me, was it your foot I stepped on when I was going out a moment ago?"

  “对不起,请问我刚才出去的'时候是踩着你的脚吗?”

  "Yes, but it doesn't really matter. It didn't hurt at all."

  “是的,不过没什么关系,一点也不疼。”

  "Oh, no, it isn't that. I only want to make sure that this is my row."

  “噢,不,我不是这个意思。我只是想确认一下这是不是我的那排位子。”

  英语笑话精彩合集(三)

  没把头发全剪掉啊

  Miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. But this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. While Miles was at the barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him."Hello, Miles," the manager said. "I see that you are having your hair cut in office time.""Yes, sir, I am," admitted Miles calmly. "You see, sir, it grows in office time.""Not all of it," said the manager at once. "Some of it grows in your own time.""Yes, sir, that's quite true." Answered Miles politely, "but I'm not having it all cut off."麦尔斯有时在上班时间去理发馆理发,但这是违反办公室规定的:职员只能利用自己的时间理发。一天,正当麦尔斯理发时,经理碰巧也进来理发,而且就坐在他旁边。“你好,麦尔斯,”经理说。“我看到你在上班时间理发了。”“是的,先生。正是这样。”麦尔斯平静地承认了。可先生,你看,头发是在上班时间长的。“不全都是吧,”经理立刻说,“有一些是在你自己的时间里长的。”“对呀,先生,你说得很对。”麦尔斯礼貌地回答说,“但我并没有把头发全都剪掉啊。”

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