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愚人节精彩英语笑话
在日常学习、工作和生活中，大家对笑话都再熟悉不过了吧，下面是小编为大家整理的愚人节精彩英语笑话，希望对大家有所帮助。
愚人节精彩英语笑话一：
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan。
He asks, "What was that for?"
She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it."
He says, "Jeez, honey, Betty Sue was the name of the horse I bet on." She shrugs and walks away。
Three days later hes reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan。
He asks, "What was that for?"
She answers, "Your horse called."
一个家伙正在看报纸，他的妻子走到他身后，用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。他问道：“这是为什么?”她说：“我在你口袋里发现了一张写有‘Betty Sue’的纸条。”他说：“哎呀，亲爱的，‘Betty Sue’是我赌的那匹马的名字。”她耸了耸肩，走了。 三天后他正在看报纸，妻子走到他身后，又用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。他问：“这又是为什么?”她答道：“你的马打电话来了。”
愚人节精彩英语笑话二：
The Doctor Knows Better
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital。
His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."
"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor。
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive."
"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
医生懂得多
一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说：“我想他伤得很厉害。”
医生说：“恐怕他已经死了。”
听到医生的话，这个男人转动着头说：“我没死，我还活着。”
妻子说：“安静，医生比你懂得多。”
愚人节精彩英语笑话三：
In the traffic court of a large midwestern city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judges eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write I went through a red light five hundred times."
在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里，一位年轻女士被带到法官面前，她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。女士向法官解释，她是一名学校老师，请求法官马上处理她的案子，以便可以赶回去上课。法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠，说道：“你是学校的老师，对吗?女士，我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下，写‘我开车闯了红灯’500遍。”
On the way home one night, I spotted some freshcut roses outside a florists shop. After selecting a dozen and entering the shop, I was greeted by a young saleswoman。
一天晚上回家的路上，我看到一家花店外面有一些刚剪下来的玫瑰。我挑了一打，走进店里，一个年轻的女售货员跟我打了个招呼。
"Are these for your wife, sir?" she asked。
“先生，这些是送给你妻子的吗?”她问道。
"Yes," I said。
“是的，”我说。
"For her birthday?" she asked。
“她的生日?”她问。
"No," I replied。
“不是，”我回答。
"For your anniversary?"
“你们的结婚纪念日?”
"No," I said again。
“不是，”我又答道。
As I pocketed my change and headed toward the door, the young woman called out, "I hope she forgives you."
当我将找回的钱装进口袋，朝门口走去时，那年轻的女人冲我喊道：“希望她能原谅你。”
Notes:
spot 认出，发现
freshcut 鲜切花
florist 种花人
愚人节精彩英语笑话四：
1、why are people tired on april fools day? (愚人节人们为什么疲倦?)
答：because they have just had a long march. ( 因为他们刚过了长长的三月。march 三月;行军)
2、what weather do mice and rats fear? (老鼠害怕什么天气?)
答：when its raining cats and dogs.(下大雨。rain cats and dogs 下大雨 )
3、when do dogs refuse to follow their masters? (狗什么时候不愿跟随主人?)
答：when their masters go to the flea market.(主人去跳蚤市场时。flea 跳蚤 flea market 旧货市场 )
4、what question can never be answered by “yes”? (哪个问题永远不能回答“是的”?)
答：are you asleep? (你睡着了吗)
5、what tree is always very sad? (那种树总是很伤心?)
答：weeping willow. ( 垂柳 weep哭泣 willow柳树)
6、when can you get water with a net? (什么时候可以用网兜装水?) 答：when water is turned into ice. (当水结成冰时)
7、why is the pig always eating?猪为什么没完没了地吃?
答：hes making a hog of himself.它想成为一只肉猪。
8、whats the longest word in the world?世界上最长的单词是什么? 答：smiles. because theres a mile between the letter s.微笑。因为两个字母s中间隔了一里。
9、what question is that to which you must always answer "yes"? 什么问题你只能回答“yes”?
答："what does yes spell?" (当别人问你)“yes”怎么拼?
10、where were you when the power was cut off? 当停电的时候你在哪? 答：in the darkness. 在黑暗中
愚人节精彩英语笑话五：
1、What the day is it today?
Today is April foolsday.
Oh!you are wrong today is March the 31th.If you dont believe me please pick up the calendar.
Oh!it is really April foolsday.
Haha!you were cheated!
今天是星期几？
今天是四月愚人节。
哦！你错了，今天是三月三十一日。如果你不相信我，请拿起日历。
哦！这真的是四月愚人节。
哈哈！你被骗了！
2、Best wishes and I believe your English will be better and better!
最好的祝愿，我相信你的英语会越来越好！
3、A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok,mommy." and goes to sleep. the next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! Im still blind, my wish didnt come true!". The mom answered, "I know April Fools!"
一个双目失明的小男孩正被妈妈抱上床。妈妈说：“现在，比利，今晚和明天都要好好祈祷，你的愿望会实现的！”比利说：“好的，妈妈，”然后去睡觉。第二天早上，比利醒来尖叫着：“妈咪！”！我还是瞎了眼，我的愿望没有实现！妈妈回答说：“我知道——四月傻瓜！”
4、Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so Ill be in your hands all day.
Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily.
妻子对丈夫（整天看报纸）说：我希望我是一份报纸，所以我整天都在你手里。
丈夫：我也希望如此，这样我就可以每天换你了。
5、A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?The father replied: I don t know son. I m still paying!!
一个小男孩问他的父亲：爸爸，结婚要花多少钱？父亲回答说：我不知道儿子。我还在付钱！！
6、At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home... He asks him: what are you doing?
The son replied: Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my inlaws, and I hate this life!!! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life!!!
Father said: Wait!!!!!!!! I am coming with you.
半夜，父亲看到他已婚的儿子离家出走了…他问他：你在干什么？
儿子回答：爸爸，我受够了我的生活！我的新婚生活不太顺利，我妻子和我妈妈一直在打架！我得为我的亲家付账，我讨厌这种生活！！！我想远离这里，我想品味生活中的每一种乐趣，我想享受生活的乐趣！！！
父亲说：等等！我和你一起去。
7、A woman goes to England to attend a 2week company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answered: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?
The husband laughed and said: An English girl!!!
The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked: So honey, how was the trip?
The wife: Very good, thank you.
The husband: And, what happened to my present?
The wife: Which present?
The husband: What I asked for: the English girl?
The wife: Oh, that! Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl!!!
一个女人去英国参加一个为期两周的公司培训会议。她丈夫开车送她去机场，祝她旅途愉快。
妻子回答：谢谢你，亲爱的，你要我给你拿什么？
丈夫笑着说：一个英国女孩！！！
那女人默不作声地离开了。两个星期后，他在机场接她，问道：亲爱的，旅途怎么样？
妻子：很好，谢谢。
丈夫：我的礼物怎么了？
妻子：哪一件礼物？
丈夫：我要的是那个英国女孩？
妻子：哦，那！好吧，我尽力了，现在我们得等几个月看看是不是女孩！！！
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