关于小学英语的小笑话
笑话能反映社会现象、群体认同或讽刺特定行为（如职业笑话）。同时，心理学研究表明，健康的幽默有助于人际调和，而负面笑话可能暴露性格缺陷（如嫉妒或狭隘）。下面是小学英语的小笑话，供参考！
小学英语的小笑话 1
Baby bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table .
熊宝宝走到楼下坐在他的小餐桌椅上。
He looks into his small bowl.It is empty!
他窥探着他的小碗。碗是空的。
"Whos been eating my porrodge?"he squeaks .
他吱吱叫说：“谁吃了我的麦片粥?”
Daddy bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chiar.
熊爸爸来到桌边坐在他的太椅子上。
He looks into his big bowl .It is also empty!
他窥探着他的.大碗.碗也是空的。
"Who is been eating my porridge?"he roars .
他太声吼叫说：“谁吃了我的麦片粥?”
Mummy bear puts her head though the serving hatch from the kitchen and scream .
熊妈妈把她的头从厨房的端菜口伸出来尖声叫着：
"For Gods sake,how many time do we have to go though this? I havent made the porridge yet!"
“看在老天的份上，我们还得忍受这样子多少次呢?我还没做麦片粥啦!”
A man walks into a confession booth and says,"I have sinned."
有一个男人走进告解室说：“我犯罪了”。
"What did you do?"asks the priest.
神父 问 ：“你做了什么?”
"I committed a murder."
“我犯了谋杀罪”
The priest says,"take a drink out of the holy cup and you will be forgiven."
神父说：“你喝一口圣杯的圣水，你就得饶恕。”
A man walks into the confession booth and says ,"I have sinned."
有一个男人走进告解室说：“我犯罪了”。
The priest asks him ,"what did you do?"
神父问他： “你做了什么?”
"I robbed six banks."
“我抢了六家银行”
The priest says, "take a drink out of the holy cup and you will be forgiven."
神父说：“你喝一口圣杯的圣水，你就得饶恕。”
Another man walks into the confession booth and says ," I have sinned ."
另一个男人走进告解室说：“我犯罪了”。
" What did you do?" asks the priest,
神父问：“你做了什么?”
"I broke the holy cup."
“我把圣杯打破了”。
A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy apaper. His friend insisted on a demonstration and handed the dog some money - The dogtrotted off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.
"How much did you give him?" asked the owner.
"Five dollars.
"Well, that explains it. When you give him five dollars, he goes to a movie."
一位养狗人宣称：要是给了爱犬钱，它便会到卖报亭买份报纸来。他的朋友坚持要来个演示，并给了狗一些钱。狗一溜小跑着去了。但一个小时过去了，仍不见它带报纸回来。
“你给了它多少钱?”狗的主人问。
“五元。”
“这就是了。你给它五元钱时，它就去看电影。”
小学英语的小笑话 2
Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
中间战术
三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”
左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
Very Pleased to Meet You
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."
"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"
在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。
后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。
琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。”
“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。
“噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。”
“很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。”
Two Soldiers
Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"
Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.
Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.
Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"
Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.
George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.
"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.
George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"
军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?”
比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。
乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。
这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?”
比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。
乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的'信箱里，还有...”他停住了。
“你还要什么?”比尔问。
乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?”
Five Months Older
The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised.
"How old are you?" he said.
"Eighteen, sir," said John.
"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"
"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."
大五个月
第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。
可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。
“你多大了?”军医问。
“十八，长官。”约翰说。
“可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?”
约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。”
West Point
My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."
One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."
父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的橄榄球赛。开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。“好让我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。”
一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员，问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说：“我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。”
Present for Girlfriend
At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked.
The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘. That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again."
送给女友的礼物
在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。
那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不--在上面刻‘给我唯一的爱’。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。”
小学英语的小笑话 3
Can his football come out to play
George knocked on the door of his friends house. When his friends mother answered he asked, "Can Albert come out to play?"
"No," said the mother, "Its too cold."
"Well, then," said George, "Can his football come out to play?"
小学英语的小笑话 4
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.孩子们在天主教学校的'自助食堂中排队打午饭。
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
在桌子的前端有一大堆苹果。修女写了一张字条，把它贴在了苹果盘上：“只能拿一个，上帝在看着。”
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
继续排着队向前走，在桌子的尽头有一大堆巧克力脆饼。
A child had written a note, "Take all you want.God is watching the apples."
一个孩子写了张字条：“随便拿，上帝在看着苹果。”
小学英语的小笑话 5
不必再看眼科医生了
It had been many years since my last eye exam,and my wife was pestering me to make an appointment. The more she nagged , the more I procrastinated. Finally，she made an appointment for me.
我己经很多年没做眼睛检查了。我妻子总是催我去挂个号。她越是督我，我越是耽搁不去。最后，她替我挂了个号。
The day before I was to see the doctor，I was in an affectionate mood. After kissing and hugging her, I told her she really looked. good to me.,
在我去见医生的前一天，我的'情绪特别好。我对妻于又是亲又是抱，还说她是我眼里最漂亮的女人.
"That does it,”she said.“Im canceling your appointment."
她说:“这回眼睛没问题了，那我现在就去把号退了。”
小学英语的小笑话 6
1．we two who and who？
咱俩谁跟谁阿
2．how are you ? how old are you?
怎么是你，怎么老是你？
3．you have seed I will give you some color to see see, brothers ！ together up ！
你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！
4．as far as you go to die
有多远，死多远！
5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!!
有事起奏，无事退朝
6．you me you me
彼此彼此
7．You Give Me Stop!!
你给我站住！
8．know is know noknow is noknow
知之为知之，不知为不知…
9．WATCH SISTER
表妹
10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse’’son can make hole!!
龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞！
11.I give you face you don’t wanna face,you lose you face ,I turn myface
给你脸你不要脸，你丢脸，我翻脸
12．one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die
车祸现场描述
13．heart flower angry open
心花怒放
14．go past no mistake past
走过路过，不要错过
15．小明：I am sorry!
老外：I am sorry too!
小明：I am sorry three!
老外：What are you sorry for?
小明：I am sorry five!
16．If you want money,I have no;if you want life,I have one!
要钱没有，要命一条
17．I call Li old big. toyear 25.
我叫李老大，今年25。
18．you have two down son
你有两下子。
19. good good study,day day up!
好好学习，天天向上
小学英语的小笑话 7
史密斯是一家建设公司的经理，他正负责一个新工程的招标案。第一位投标的是一家波兰公司，他们的.代表出价四十万元接那个案子。“似乎很合理，”史密斯说。“你可不可以给我一张明细表呢?”
"Sure," said the Pole, " $200, 000 for labor and $ 200,000 for materials. "
“当然没问题，”波兰公司代表说道，“二十万元工资，二十万元材科费。”
下一个出标的是美国标准建设公司，他们以八十万元竞标。
"Hmm, that seems a bit high," said Smith. "Whats the breakdown?" “嗯，这个价钱似乎有些偏高，”史密斯说道。"你们有明细表吗?" " $ 400,000 0n materials, $ 400,000 0n labor. " “四十万元材料，四十万元工资。”
"Ill get back to you. "
Finally the representative of Cohen, Goldstein and Leibowitz entered Smiths office. " $ 1,200,000 is our bid," said the agent." 最后可翰高斯坦雷伯威兹公司的代表走进史密斯办公室。“一百二十万元是我们竞标的价码，”代表说道。
$11 200, 0001 That s way out of line," exclaimed Smith. "Can you give me a breakdown onthat?" “一百二十万元这个标高得太过分了，”史密斯叫道“你可以给我一张明细表吗?" "No problem," replied the rep. " $400, 000 for me,$ 400 , 000 for you and
$ 400，000 for thePolacks.
“没有问题，”代表回答道。“四十万元给我，四十万元给你，最后四十万元则给那家波兰佬开的公司。”
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