英语小笑话

时间：2025-12-11 09:21:10 小英英语笑话我要投稿

英语小笑话

　　爱笑的人，运气总不会太差，因为笑可以让人充满正能量，更能让自己面对挫折，勇往直前，这里YJBYS小编CJYJBYS小编CJ收集整理了英语小笑话，让你爆笑每一天。

英语小笑话

　　英语小笑话 1

　　又要结婚了

　　"So you want another day off,”snorted the teacher to his student，Tom.“I am anxious to hear what excuse you have this time. You have been off for your grandfathers funeral four times already.”

　　“这么说，你又要请一天假，”老师怒气冲冲地对他的学生汤姆说，“我倒想知道你这次找什么借口。你已经请了四次假说去参加你爷爷的葬礼。”

　　Tom replied，"Today my grandma is getting married again.”

　　汤姆回答说:“今天是我奶奶再次举行婚礼。”

　　英语小笑话 2

　　Teacher: What is the plural of man,Tom?老师: 汤姆，“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么?Tom: Men.汤姆:男人们。Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?

　　老师: 答得好。那“孩子”的复数形式呢?Tom : Twins.

　　汤姆: 双胞胎。

　　英语小笑话 3

　　Little Pete came home from the playground with a bloody1 nose, black eye, and torn clothing.小彼得从操场回到家时，鼻子流血、黑眼圈及被撕破了衣服。It was obvious hed been in a bad fight and lost. His father asked his son what happened. "Well, Dad," said Pete, "I challenged Larry to a duel2. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."

　　显然他刚与人恶斗了一番，而且打输了。父亲问儿子发生了什么事。“噢，爸爸，彼得说，我向拉里挑起决斗，而且我让他挑选武器。”"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."

　　“嗯，”父亲说，“这看上去很公平!”"I know, but I never thought hed choose his sister!"

　　“我知道，但我没想到他选择了他姐姐!”

　　英语小笑话 4

　　The New Teacher(新老师)

　　George comes from school on the first of September.

　　9月1日，乔治放学回到家里。

　　George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.

　　乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗? 妈妈问。

　　I didnt like her, Mother, because she said three and three were six and then she said two and four were six too.....

　　妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。

　　英语小笑话 5

　　An absent-minded husband

　　I was accompanying my husband on a business trip. He carried his portable computer with him, and the guard at the airport gate asked him to open the case. It was locked, and the man waited patiently as my embarrassed spouse struggled to remember the combination. At last he succeeded.

　　我陪丈夫一起出差，他带着他的笔记本电脑。到了机场出口处时，有位检查员要他打开包。但是包锁上了，机场工作人员耐心地等着我那窘迫的丈夫设法回想起暗锁的密码。最后他终于想起来了。

　　“Why are you so nervous?"I asked him.

　　”你为什么那么紧张呢?“我问他。

　　"The numbers are the date of our annivorsary.my husband confessed.

　　“密码是我们的.结婚纪念日。”他承认道”

　　英语小笑话 6

　　Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child I was told if I made ugly faces, my face would freeze and stay like that". Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you cant say you werent warned."

　　史密斯小姐发现她的`一名学生在操场上向别人做鬼脸，便去轻责他。

　　这位主日学校的老师甜甜地微笑着，说："博比，我小的时候，有人告诉我如果我做鬼脸，我的脸就会僵硬，永远都那么丑。"

　　博比抬头看了看老师，说："史密斯小姐，你可别说没人警告过你啊。"

　　英语小笑话 7

　　erry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "Ive got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think theres somebody under it. Im going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and Ill cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." Ill sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didnt you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Aint nobody under there now!!!

　　杰瑞去看精神病医生。“医生，我有些不对劲。每次睡觉的时候，我都感觉有人在床下。我要疯了!”“给我一年时间，”医生说，“每周来三次，我会治好你。”“费用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我会认真考虑的`。”杰瑞答道。六个月后医生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“为什么你再也没来呢?”医生问。“一次一百块钱吗?有个酒吧服务生收了十块钱就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎么做到的?”“他让我把床腿锯掉。现在那没人了!”

　　英语小笑话 8

　　On a trip to Disney World

　　in Florida, my husband and I and our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we headed for home.

　　As we drove away, our son waved and said, "Goodbye, Mickey."

　　Our daughter waved and said, "Goodbye, Minnie."

　　My husband waved, rather weakly, and said, "Goodbye, Money."

　　迪斯尼之旅弗罗里达州的'迪斯尼乐园是一个迷人的地方。一次我和丈夫以及两个孩子前往旅游，我们全身心地沉醉在它的各种奇观之中。精疲力竭地玩了三天之后，我们要回家了。

　　当我们驱车离开时，儿子挥手说：“再见，美奇。”

　　女儿挥着手说，“再见，美妮。”

　　丈夫也有气无力地挥了挥手，说道：“再见，美元。”

　　英语小笑话 9

　　one day, a father and his little son were going home. at this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. now, he asked, "whats the meaning of the word drunk, dad?" "well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. if i regard the two policemen as four then i am drunk."

　　一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。”

　　"but, dad," the boy said, " theres only one policeman!"

　　“可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀!”

　　英语小笑话 10

　　A Girls Name

　　When our daughter was born, we named her Myles, after my beloved late（已故的） father, despite family warning that the name was too masculine（男性的） .

　　Years later, when I felt she was old enough to understand, I explained to Myles, Your name is very special. I named you after my own father because I loved him very much. I know he would be proud of you.

　　Myles thought carefully about this and then said, I know all that, Mom. But I dont understand why my grandfather had a girls name.

　　女孩的名字

　　女儿出生时，我们给她取名叫迈尔斯，和我深爱的也已过世的父亲同一个名字，不过家人提醒这个名字太男性化了。

　　几年以后，我觉得迈尔斯已经长大，能够懂事了。我对她解释说：你的名字很特别。我给你取了一个和我爸爸一样的'名字，因为我非常爱他。我相信他会为你而深感自豪的。

　　迈尔斯很仔细地想了一下，然后说道：这些我都懂，妈妈。可是我不知道外公为什么会有一个女孩子的名字。

　　英语小笑话 11

　　The doctor lives downstairs

　　"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly whats wrong with me."

　　He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "Ive just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, Im an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."

　　医生住在楼下

　　“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。

　　“我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。”

　　他从头到脚打量打量她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的.体重需要减少大约50磅；第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的美貌将会改变。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”

　　英语小笑话 12

　　What are the Two Words?

　　A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. My dear, said the old lady, I wish you would do something for me. I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy’ and the other is ‘swell’. Would you promise me that?

　　Why, sure, Granny, said the girl. What are the two words?

　　是哪两个词？

　　一个非常和蔼的老夫人有几句话要对她的`孙女说。我亲爱的，老夫人说，我希望你能帮我一个忙。我要你答应永远不要用两个词，一个是“讨厌的”，另一个是“极好的”。你能答应我吗？

　　噢，当然，奶奶。女孩说：是哪两个词？

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