英语笑话搞笑

时间：2025-10-21 09:20:30 银凤英语笑话我要投稿

英语笑话搞笑（精选10篇）

　　看一些英语笑话，既能学习英语知识，也能开心，今天我们就一起来看看英语笑话搞笑集锦吧!

英语笑话搞笑（精选10篇）

　　英语笑话搞笑 1

　　The patient is adamant. "Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans. . ." "What makes you think you need all these?" Well, replied the patient, "My boss said if I wanted to keep my job I needed to get reorganized."

　　这个病人显得很坚决。“医生，我需要做肝脏移植、肾脏移植、心脏移植、角膜移植、脾脏移植、胰腺移植和……” “你为什么认为你需要做这么多移植手术?”病人回答：“哦，是这样，我的老板说如果我这个人不重新组装的`话，就别想保住我的工作!”

　　英语笑话搞笑 2

　　Dentist: Im sorry, madam, but Ill have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your sons tooth.

　　Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.

　　Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.

　　牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。

　　母亲：二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀?

　　牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了

　　英语笑话搞笑 3

　　Good news: Two boys went out climbing trees.好消息：两名男童出去爬树。

　　Bad news: wone of them fell out.坏消息：其中有一人摔下来了。

　　Good news: There was a hammockbeneathhim.好消息：他下面有一个吊床。

　　Bad news: There was a rakebeside the hammock.坏消息：吊床旁边有一个耙子。

　　Good news: He missed the rake.好消息：他和耙子擦肩而过。

　　Bad news: He missed the hammock too !坏消息：他也和吊床擦肩而过！

　　英语笑话搞笑 4

　　The Umbrella

　　A gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall, but he had put on the handle a card on which was written: "This umbrella belongs to a gentleman who can lift up a hundred pounds. I shall be back in ten minutes." When he came back, he found, instead of his umbrella, another card on which was written,"This card belongs to a man who can run tenmiles an hour. I shall not come back."

　　雨伞

　　一位住在旅馆的绅士把他的雨伞放在了大厅里，不过他在伞柄上系了一张卡片，上面写道，“此伞属于一位能举百磅的绅士。我将在十分钟内回来。当他回来时，发现雨伞已经不翼而飞，取而代之的'是另一张卡片，上面写着：“此卡是一位一小时能跑十英里的人留下的，我将永远不回来了。”

　　英语笑话搞笑 5

　　The Flying Nun

　　A Highway Trooper is surprised to find a nun behind the wheel of the car he has pulled over. "Im terribly sorry maam but its not safe to do 35 mph on the interstate."

　　"But all the signs said 35," she replied.

　　"Those are route signs, maam. This is route 35". At this point he looks in the back seat to see two more nuns, mouths ajar, eyes wide open, in an obvious state of shock.

　　"Whats the matter?" he asks.

　　"Oh, we just pulled off of route 99."

　　英语笑话搞笑 6

　　After my husband，John，and I moved to Michigan from Nebraska，our new friends，proud of their beautiful tree一lined roads，teased us about the Mid-wests dull，flat，treeless land. When my parents，Nebraska farmers，visited us，I asked them about their trip.

　　我和丈夫约翰从内布拉斯加搬到密西根后，我们新认识的朋友们总为他们美丽的林荫大过引以为荣.他们嘲讽我们的中西部平原荒凉、贫瘩，连株枯树都没有。后来我父母从内布拉斯加的`老家来看我们，我问他们对旅途的感受。

　　What a boring drive，"my father replied."Once you get to Michigan, theres nothing to see but trees."

　　我父亲抱怨着:“枯澡，乏味，一进入密西根，除了树什么都没有。”

　　英语笑话搞笑 7

　　Computer problem 电脑问题

　　I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packards DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldnt solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges， and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"

　　我在惠普公司打印机部做技术支持工作已经有一个月了，有一天我接到一位客户的.电话，她的问题我没办法解决。她的问题是：打印机不能打出来黄色，但是其它颜色都正常。这让我觉得很纳闷，因为三原色就是蓝、红、黄。我建议客户更换墨盒、删了驱动程序然后重新安装，但是都没有效果。我咨询同事们，他们也不知道该怎么办。经过两个多小时的交涉，我打算让客户把打印机寄给我们，这时候她平静地说了一句：“我是不是应该把这张黄纸扔了换一张白纸再打印试试。”

　　英语笑话搞笑 8

　　Can his football come out to play

　　George knocked on the door of his friends house. When his friends mother answered he asked, "Can Albert come out to play?"

　　"No," said the mother, "Its too cold."

　　"Well, then," said George, "Can his football come out to play?"

　　英语笑话搞笑 9

　　A School-report The father was reading the school-report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful as he read: "English, poor, French, weak, mathematics, mathematics, Fair," and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad. "Wall, Dad." Said the son, "it is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And he pointed to the next line, which read: "Health excellent."

　　学期总结父亲正在读儿子刚刚交给他的学期总结，他的儿子满怀希望的'看着他，而他则生气的读着学期总结："英语,差;法语,中;数学,良."然后,他厌恶地看着那个正在抖动着身子的小子."恩,老爸."儿子说:"那没有达到本来应该达到的优秀水平，不过你没看到那儿?"他指着下一行，读到："健康状况，优秀。" 鲜艳)

　　英语笑话搞笑 10

　　Three Surgeons

　　Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "A man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "Today that man is a concert violinist."

　　"Thats nothing," said another. "A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner."

　　"I can top both of you," said the third. "One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horses posterior - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate."

　　三个外科医生

　　三个有名的外科医生正在吹嘘他们的'技术。“一个人断了一只手，他来找我，”一个说，“如今那个人是个音乐会的小提琴手。”

　　“这算不了什么，”另一个说。“一个家伙两条腿断了，他来找我，我将它们接了回去。如今，那人是马拉松选手。”

　　“我比你们两个都强，”第三个说，“一天，我碰到一起可怕的车祸。除了一个马屁股，和一幅眼睛，什么都没有留下。如今，那人坐在美国参议院里。”

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