搞笑有意思的英语笑话
英语如果没学好,连笑话都看不懂啊!哈哈,下面是yjbys小编收集的英语笑话,大家来看看能否看懂!
1. A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
程序猿的老婆告诉他:“你去商店给老娘买一条面包。如果他们有鸡蛋,你就带1打回来。”结果,程序猿回家的时候,带了12条长面包。
Hint:程序猿都清楚IF语句。如果条件成立,那么怎么怎么样。商店里面一定有鸡蛋哈哈哈。
2. A mathematician wanders back home at 3a.m. and proceeds to get an earful from his wife.
“You’re late!” she yells. “You said you’d be home by 11:45!”
“Actually,” the mathematician replies coolly, “I said I’d be home by a quarter of 12.”
一个数学家在晚上3点时徘徊着回家,结果被老婆骂了一顿。
“你特么怎么这么晚!”她大喊道:“你说你会11点45分前回来的!”
“事实上……”这位数学家蛋定地回复到:“我说的是在‘12的四分之一’也就是3点回来”
Hint:a quarter是四分之一的意思,目测数学家今晚要跪搓衣板。
3. Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
你听说过诵读困难者,不可知论失眠症患者吗?哦知道,他整完不睡觉都在想世界上到底有没有“狗”的存在。
Hint:用一个很怪异的故事解释了这三个词的含义,典型的美式幽默,不正经地说一件正经的事情
4. You blew up your chemistry experiment? It’s OK, oxidants happen.
你做实验的.时候炸了?没事的,氧化总会发生。
Hint:其实意思是说意外总会有的,英语中谐音oxidant=accident
5. Your momma is so mean… she has nostandard deviation.
你妈妈太吝啬了……一点均方差都没有。
Hint:mean另外一个意思是平均数,与standard deviation同为数学名词,用了双关
6. What’s the difference between anetymologist and an entomologist?… An etymologist knows the difference.
语源学者和昆虫学者中间的差别是什么?语源学者知道差别。
Hint:etymologist和entomologist 两个单词读音非常接近但有不同,回答者鸡智地说研究词语来源的语源学者知道这个不同点。
7. How many Marxists does it take to screwin a light bulb? None: the light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution
需要多少马克思主义者才能拧“上”这个灯泡呢?一个都不需要:灯泡自己有革命的种子(指灯泡自己会转进去)。
Hint:讽刺那些空谈家,自行百度Light bulb joke
8. The other day my friend was telling me that I didn’t understand what irony meant. Which is ironic, because we were standing at a bus stop.
有一天,我朋友正问我irony什么意思,真是让人啼笑皆非,因为我们当时就站在公交车站上!
Hint:irony有两个意思,“讽刺冷嘲”和“铁的”。
9. A man is talking to God. “God, how longis a million years?”
God answers, “To me, it’s about a minute.”
“God, how much is a million dollars?”
“To me, it’s a penny.”
“God, may I have a penny?”
“Wait a minute.”
一个人对上帝说:“上帝啊,一百万年有多长?”
“对我来说,就像一分钟那么短。”上帝回答道。
“那……上帝啊,一百万刀到底是多少啊?”
“对我来说就差不多是一便士吧。”
“那上帝,能给我一便士吗?”
“稍等一分钟……”
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Hint:哈哈哈哈哈,上帝说的一分钟可是一百万年啊……
10. A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies: “No, I’m travelling light.”
一个光子入驻酒店,行李搬运工问他是否有行李。光子说:“没有,我轻装便行的。”
Hint:light是即指轻的,又指光。又是一次双关。
11. How many programmers does it take to change a light-bulb? None, it’s a hardware problem.
需要多少程序猿能改装这个灯泡?一个都不需要,因为这是个硬件问题。
Hint:程序猿是搞软件的,不是搞硬件的。讽刺那些空谈家。
12. Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of the sudden the phone rings…Pavlov gasps, “Oh shit, I forgot to feed the dogs.”
巴甫洛夫坐在酒吧里,他的手机铃声突然响了。他喘着气道:“我去,我忘喂狗了……”
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