英语的小笑话

时间：2025-09-03 11:41:03 诗琳英语笑话我要投稿

关于英语的小笑话（通用15篇）

　　笑话还可以指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感。笑话具有篇幅短小、故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性等特点，以下是小编整理的英语小笑话，仅供参考，希望能够帮助到大家。

关于英语的小笑话（通用15篇）

　　英语的小笑话 1

　　1、林肯过生日 Great Event

　　Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?

　　Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.

　　Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?

　　Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.

　　老师：1809年发生了什么重大事件?

　　小威利：亚伯拉罕-林肯诞生。

　　老师：正确。那么1812年发生了什么重要事件呢?

　　小威利：亚伯拉罕-林肯过他的三周岁生日。

　　2、那就更糟了 Much Worse

　　Much Worse

　　Policeman: Why didnt you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?

　　Man: If I had opened my mouth, theyd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

　　中文：

　　警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢?

　　男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。

　　3、Talking clock

　　会说话的钟

　　While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "Hows it work?"

　　"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! Its two oclock in the morning!"

　　一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的?”他的一个朋友问他。“那玩意儿厉害了，那是一个会说话的钟”，学生回答。“这钟怎么工作的”，他的'朋友问。“看着，别眨眼了”，那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子，拼命地敲了一下，声音震耳欲聋。突然，他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫，“别敲了，你这白痴!现在是凌晨两点钟了!”

　　4、The Mean Mans Party

　　吝啬鬼的聚会

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"

　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "Youre not coming empty-handed, are you?"

　　一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了后，再用你的脚把门推开。”

　　“为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?”

　　“天哪!” 吝啬鬼回答，“你总不会空着手来吧?”

　　5、Good Boy

　　Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

　　"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. AD:joozone_com

　　"Youre a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

　　"She is the one who sells the candy."

　　好孩子

　　小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

　　“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”

　　“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”

　　“她是个卖糖果的。”

　　6、Nest and Hair

　　My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.

　　"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.

　　"I didnt see the bird, ma am, only the nest," replied the child.

　　"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .

　　"Well, maam, it just resembles your hair. "

　　Notes:

　　(1) inform v.告诉

　　(2) nest n.窝;巢

　　(3) description n.描述

　　(4) encourage v.鼓励

　　(5) resemble v. 相似;类似

　　动物笑话爆笑短信：鸟窝与头发

　　我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外的树上垒了个窝。

　　“是什么鸟呢?”我姐姐问她。

　　“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。

　　“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗?”我姐姐鼓励她道。

　　“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”

　　英语的小笑话 2

　　Where is the father?

　　Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings。

　　"Look，" said the elder brother。 "How nice these paintings are!"

　　"Yes，" said the younger， "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children。 Where is the father?"

　　The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained， "Obviously he was painting the pictures。"

　　父亲在哪儿?

　　兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

　　“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀!”

　　“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，仅有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”

　　哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”

　　英语的小笑话 3

　　Intelligent son

　　One day， the father lets eight year-old son send a letter， the son took the letter ， the father then remembered didnt write the address and addressees name on the envelope。

　　After the son es back， the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?"

　　"Certainly"

　　"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"

　　"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope。"

　　"Then why you didnt take it back?"

　　"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee， is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"

　　聪明的.儿子

　　有一天，父亲让八岁的儿子去寄一封信，儿子已经拿着信跑了，父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。

　　儿子回来后，父亲问他:“你把信丢进邮筒了吗?” “当然”“你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗?”

　　“我当然看见信封上什么也没写”“那你为什么不拿回来呢?”

　　“我还以为你不写地址和收信人，是为了不想让我明白你把信寄给谁呢!”

　　英语的小笑话 4

　　Dentist: Please stop howling。 I havent even touched your tooth yet。

　　Patient: I know。 But you are standing on my foot!

　　牙医：请不要再叫了，我都还没有挨着你的牙齿啊!

　　病人：可是，亲，你可明白，你踩到我脚了!!!

　　英语的小笑话 5

　　Kate: Mom， do you know what Im going to give you for your birthday?

　　Mom: No， Honey， what?

　　Kate: A nice teapot。

　　Mom: But Ive got a nice teapot。

　　Kate: No， you havent。 Ive just dropped it。

　　凯特：妈妈，你明白我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗?

　　妈妈：不明白，宝贝，是什么呀?

　　凯特：一把漂亮的'茶壶。

　　妈妈：可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。

　　凯特：不，你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。

　　英语的小笑话 6

　　Does the dog know the proverb， too?

　　The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog。

　　"Its all right，" said a gentleman， "dont be afraid。 Dont you know the proverb: Barking dogs dont bite?"

　　"Ah， yes，" answered the little boy。 "I know the proverb， but does the dog know the proverb， too?"

　　狗也明白这个谚语吗?

　　一个小男孩十分不喜欢狗狂叫的样貌。

　　“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你明白这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”

　　“啊，我是明白，可是狗也明白吗?”

　　英语的小笑话 7

　　Dentist: Im sorry， madam， but Ill have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your sons tooth。

　　Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction。

　　Dentist: I usually do。 But your son yelled so loud， he scared four other patients out of the office。

　　昂贵的代价

　　牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。

　　母亲：二十五美元!可是我明白您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀?

　　牙科医生：是的'。可是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了

　　英语的小笑话 8

　　A professor was giving a big test one day to his students。 He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait。

　　Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in。 The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point。"

　　The next class the professor handed the tests back out。 This student got back his test and $64 change。

　　一天，教授正在给学生们监考。他发下试卷，然后回到讲台前等待。

　　考试结束了，学生们纷纷交回试卷。教授发现一张试卷上别着一张百元钞票，还有一张纸条写着：“一分一块钱。”

　　第二堂课，教授把试卷都发回学生们手中。其中一个学生不但得到了试卷还得到64块钱的找零。

　　英语的小笑话 9

　　"Tom, whats the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "Hes crying."

　　"Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "Im eating my cake. He is crying because I wont give him any."

　　"But has he finished his own cake?"

　　"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."

　　"汤姆，你弟弟怎么了？" 妈妈在厨房里问。"他在哭。"

　　"没事儿，妈妈，" 汤姆答道。"我在吃我的`蛋糕。他哭是因为我不给他吃。"

　　"他已经吃完自己的`了么？"

　　"是的。" "我帮他吃完时，他也哭了。"

　　英语的小笑话 10

　　A woman who frequently visited a small antique shop rarely purchased anything，but always found fault with the merchandise and prices. The manager and her salesclerk took the womans grumpy complaints in stride，but one day she went too far. "Why is it I never manage to get what I ask for in your shop?”demanded the woman.

　　一名妇女经常光顾一家小古董店，但几乎从不买什么东西，却总是对商品和价格吹毛求疵。对于那妇女的粗暴袍怨，经理和她的'销售员总是应付了事，但是有一天她做得太过分了。“为什么你们店里总是不能得到我想要的东西?”那名妇女指责说。

　　A smile on her face，the clerk calmly replied，“Perhaps its because we’re too polite.”

　　职员脸上带着微笑，沉着地回答道:“也许是因为我们太有礼貌了。”

　　英语的小笑话 11

　　井中的开水是到开水房供应的。一天阿纲去到那里打水，却不小心被滚烫的开水的'溅到了，痛得他咬牙切齿。突然，他背后黑川花问：“泽田，是不是很烫?”

　　The boiling water in the well is supplied to the boiling water room. One day, Agang went there to fetch water, but accidentally got splashed with boiling hot water, causing him to grit his teeth in pain. Suddenly, Kurokawa Flower behind him asked, "Zeda, is it very hot?"

　　泽田正要惨叫出声，突然看到黑川花身后的`京子，为了保持形象，立刻改口道：“一点都不烫!”

　　Zetian was about to scream when he suddenly saw Keiko behind Kurokawa. In order to maintain his image, he immediately changed his tone and said, "Its not hot at all!"

　　黑川花听后转回头便对京子说：“真讨厌，今天的水又没开!!”

　　After hearing this, Kurokawa Flower turned around and said to Kyoko, "I really hate it. The water hasnt opened again today!"

　　英语的小笑话 12

　　家光难得回家一次，决定过问一下儿子的成绩，于是他搞来了一个测谎器，见阿纲一回家便问道：“今天的测验成绩怎么样?”

　　Jiaguang rarely went home once, so he decided to inquire about his sons grades. So, he bought a lie detector and saw A Gang come home and asked, "How were your test results today?"

　　阿纲回答：“100分。”

　　A Gang replied, "100 points."

　　测谎器“嘀——”地响起来。

　　The lie detector beeped.

　　阿纲忙改口：“60分。”测谎器又“嘀——”起来。

　　A Gang quickly changed his tone and said, "60 points." The lie detector beeped again.

　　阿纲只好老实交代：“只得了17分。”

　　Ah Gang could only honestly explain, "I only got 17 points."

　　家光摆出威严说：“我像你这么大的`时候，每次考试成绩全都是100分!!”

　　Jiaguang put on a majestic expression and said, "When I was your age, I always scored 100 points on every exam!"

　　这时测谎器突然大叫一声，翻倒在地。

　　At this moment, the lie detector suddenly let out a loud cry and fell to the ground.

　　英语的小笑话 13

　　儿子：“爸爸，你告诉我的'都是对的吗?”

　　Son: "Dad, are everything you told me right?"

　　爸爸：“当然，你要相信爸爸。”

　　Dad: "Of course, you have to trust Dad."

　　儿子：“那为什么老师告诉我，要相信自己?”

　　Son: "Why did the teacher tell me to believe in myself?"

　　英语的小笑话 14

　　女儿六岁上小学，每天都是老公接送。一天，老公送女儿时感慨地说：“爸爸很辛苦的'，把你送到了学校，还要买早餐回去给你妈妈吃。”

　　My daughter attends elementary school at the age of six and is picked up and dropped off by her husband every day. One day, when my husband was giving his daughter a gift, he sighed and said, "Dad worked very hard. He sent you to school and also bought breakfast for your mother to eat."

　　女儿不以为然：“灰太狼就是这样的啊!它比你可怜多了，回去了还要挨打。”

　　My daughter disapproved and said, "Grey Wolf is like this! Its much more pitiful than you, and youll get beaten even when you go back."

　　英语的小笑话 15

　　一80后夫妻有了一个可爱的小宝宝，丈夫看到老婆每天都很用心的`教导孩子叫“爸爸”。

　　A couple born in the 1980s have a lovely little baby, and the husband sees his wife teaching the child to be "dad" every day with great care.

　　大受感动，认为太太真好，先教孩子叫爸爸，而不是先叫妈妈，觉得真幸福。

　　I was deeply moved and thought that my wife was really kind. I taught my child to call her dad first, instead of calling her mom first. I felt really happy.

　　在一个寒冬深夜，孩子哭闹不休一直叫爸爸。

　　On a cold winter night, the child cried and kept calling out to their father.

　　此时夫妻俩睡的正香，妻子推了推老公说：你儿子一直在叫你，你快去。

　　At this moment, the husband and wife were sleeping soundly. The wife pushed her husband and said, "Your son has been calling you, go quickly.".

　　这时丈夫才明白“原来如此”。

　　At this moment, the husband realized that it was so.

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