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英文笑话文章（精选11篇）
无论在学习、工作或是生活中，大家应该都对文章很熟悉吧？随着网络文化的发展，文章的概念已经不限定于某种文体，或某类内容。你知道写文章的精髓是什么吗？下面是小编精心整理的英文笑话文章，仅供参考，欢迎大家阅读。
英文笑话文章 1
After his beloved horse died, a man wanted to place an ad in the newspaper like this: Horse saddle and bridle for $50.Inadvertently(非故意地) the paper added a comma to the ad, which read instead:Horse, saddle and bridle for $50.Immediately someone responded to the ad, Thats an awfully cheap price for a horse, said the caller, Whats wrong with your horse?Well, he is dead, replied the man who placed theerroneously(错误地) typed ad.
英文笑话文章 2
Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in?Customer: No. Barber: Oh, then I must have cut your throat.
英文笑话文章 3
One day, he went out hunting with some friends. A strong wind suddenly blew his wig off. When his friends saw what had happened, they started laughing so hard that they could not stop.The bald guy started laughing, too, and just as loudly as the other men. He said to his friends, “How can I expect my fake hair to stay on my head when even my real hair won’t stay there?”
英文笑话文章 4
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它们是从美国直接带来的一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的.。”
英文笑话文章 5
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents house. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers, when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs: "I pray for a bicycle. I pray for a new toy."
两个小男孩在祖父母家过夜。睡觉的'时候，两个小男孩跪在床边开始祈祷，这时小一些的孩子扯开嗓子大声喊道：“我祈求得到一辆自行车。我祈求有一个新玩具。”
His older brother leaned over, nudged him and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isnt deaf."
他的哥哥靠过来，用肘轻碰他说：“你为什么这么大声喊叫呢？上帝又不是聋子。”
To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"
弟弟回答说：“是的，但是奶奶听不到呀！”
英文笑话文章 6
不必再看眼科医生了
It had been many years since my last eye exam,and my wife was pestering me to make an appointment. The more she nagged , the more I procrastinated. Finally，she made an appointment for me.
我己经很多年没做眼睛检查了。我妻子总是催我去挂个号。她越是督我，我越是耽搁不去。最后，她替我挂了个号。
The day before I was to see the doctor，I was in an affectionate mood. After kissing and hugging her, I told her she really looked. good to me.,
在我去见医生的'前一天，我的情绪特别好。我对妻于又是亲又是抱，还说她是我眼里最漂亮的女人.
"That does it,”she said.“Im canceling your appointment."
她说:“这回眼睛没问题了，那我现在就去把号退了。”
英文笑话文章 7
A woman who frequently visited a small antique shop rarely purchased anything，but always found fault with the merchandise and prices. The manager and her salesclerk took the womans grumpy complaints in stride，but one day she went too far. "Why is it I never manage to get what I ask for in your shop?”demanded the woman.
一名妇女经常光顾一家小古董店，但几乎从不买什么东西，却总是对商品和价格吹毛求疵。对于那妇女的粗暴袍怨，经理和她的销售员总是应付了事，但是有一天她做得太过分了。“为什么你们店里总是不能得到我想要的`东西?”那名妇女指责说。
A smile on her face，the clerk calmly replied，“Perhaps its because we’re too polite.”
职员脸上带着微笑，沉着地回答道:“也许是因为我们太有礼貌了。”
英文笑话文章 8
I was accompanying my husband on a business trip. He carried his portable computer with him, and the guard at the airport gate asked him to open the case. It was locked, and the man waited patiently as my embarrassed spouse struggled to remember the combination. At last he succeeded.
我陪丈夫一起出差，他带着他的'笔记本电脑。到了机场出口处时， 有位检查员要他打开包。但是包锁上了，机场工作人员耐心地等着我那窘迫的丈夫设法回想起暗锁的密码。最后他终于想起来了。
“Why are you so nervous?"I asked him.
”你为什么那么紧张呢？“我问他。
"The numbers are the date of our annivorsary．my husband confessed.
“密码是我们的结婚纪念日。”他承认道”
你太晚了 You are too late 幽默笑话
英文笑话文章 9
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, Ill play it."
一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。他喝了一口放下。当他环视酒吧时，发现一只猴子荡下来，在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。该男子问酒吧招待，这只猴子是谁的。服务员回答说是钢琴手的。男子走到钢琴手面前问：“你知道你的`猴子偷了我的啤酒吗？”钢琴手回答说：“没有，但是如果你能哼唱，我会为你演奏的。”
英文笑话文章 10
A young man fell into a state of coma, but recovered before his friends had buried him. One of them asked what it felt like to be dead.
"Dead!" he exclaimed. "I wasnt dead. And I knew I wasnt, because my feet were cold and I was hungry."
"But how did that make you sure?"
"Well, I knew that if I were in heaven I shouldnt be hungry, and if I was in the other place my feet wouldnt be cold."
一个年轻人昏死了过去，但是当他的朋友们要掩埋他的时候却又苏醒过来。他的一个朋友问他死的'感觉是怎样的。
“死!”他喊道“我并没有死，我知道我没死，因为我的脚是凉的，而我又很饿。”
“你怎么能肯定你没死?”
“当然哪，我知道如果我上了天堂，我就不会觉得饿;如果我下到地狱，那我的脚就不会是凉的了。”
英文笑话文章 11
Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar，I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for 10 or 15 cents each.
在教堂的义卖市上卖旧书时，我与一名准备买东西的顾客发生了一场争论。他对购买袖珍《奥金·纳什集》颇感兴趣，但是说它要三十五美分开价过高。其他的平装书每本才卖十戴十五美分。
I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet，and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle.Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant，he paid with a $10 bill.“Keep the change，”he said.
我指出这本书保存状况颇好，纳什是个有趣的诗人，这个要价是合理的`。他说这是个原则问题。最终，我同意以十五美分的价格将这本书卖给他。他得意洋洋，掌出一张十美元的票子付账。“零钱不用找了。”他说。
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