It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.
"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhemto ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "FantasticDiscounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
As a rookie in the Atlantic City, N.J., Police department, I was assigned a beat on theboardwalk. Hardly a day went by when I didn't come upon a child who had become separatedfrom his parents.
One afternoon, I spotted a small boy standing alone, obviously lost. I tried to gain hisconfidence - I took him to the nearest ice-cream stand and bought him a cone. Time passedwith no sign of the boy's parents, so the next step was to call for a patrol car to take him toheadquarters. I told the small fry to stay put while I went to the call box. When I returned, hewas nowhere in sight.
Within minutes, the car arrived, and one of the patrolmen asked me where the child was. I feltstupid; it's humiliating to say you've lost a lost child. But I told the officers what had happenedand gave a description of the boy. "What did you treat him?" asked one of the men.
"An ice-cream cone. Why?"
"Because," answered the officer, "that kid lives only a few blocks from here, and you've aboutthe fifth rookie he's conned for a treat!"