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英文笑话段子带翻译(精选10篇)
笑话是指引人发笑的话或事情,具有篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。下面是小编为大家收集的英文笑话段子带翻译,仅供参考,大家一起来看看吧。

英文笑话段子带翻译 1
一场特殊的足球比赛
Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, "Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream."麦克上学迟到了。他对布莱克老师说:“对不起,老师,今天早上我迟到了。因为我在梦里观看了一场球赛。”"Why did it make you late?" inquired the teacher. “为什么它会让你迟到呢?”老师问道。"Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time." replied Mike.“因为这两个队都没有能力获胜,所以就持续的时间长了。”麦克回答说。
英文笑话段子带翻译 2
他赢了
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? 汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.约翰尼:他害病卧床了。他受了伤。Tommy: Thats too bad. How did that happen?汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿?Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。
英文笑话段子带翻译 3
小心有狗
As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner. "Yep, thats him," came the reply. The stranger couldnt help but be amused. "That certainly doesnt look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"
一名陌生人走进一家乡间小商店,看到玻璃门上帖着的`一个告示牌上写着,“危险! 小心有狗!” 进去后,他看到一条样子一点都不凶的老狗趴在收款机旁边的地板上睡觉。 “这就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊?” 陌生人问店主。“是,就是他”,店主回答。 听到这个回答, 陌生人觉得很好笑。“我觉得那条狗一点都不可怕。 你帖那个告示做什么?” “因为,” 店主解释说,“在我帖告示之前, 大伙老被他绊倒。”
英文笑话段子带翻译 4
智力缺陷
"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked ..."how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." " Well, What sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one? Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldnt happen to have another example would you? I must confess I dont know much about history."
“医生,你能不能告诉我,”鲍勃问,“对于一个看上去很正常的人,你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再没有比这容易的了,”医生回答,“问他一个简单的'问题,简单到所有人都知道答案,如果他回答得不干脆,那你就知道是怎么回事了。”“那要问什么样的问题呢?”“嗯,你可以这样问,‘库克船长环球旅行了三次,但是在其中一次的途中他去世了,是哪一次呢?’”鲍勃想了一会儿,紧张的回答道,“你就不能问另外一个问题吗?坦率地说,我对历史了解的不是很多。”
英文笑话段子带翻译 5
他什么都没听到
Working at the post office, Im used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "Whats the trouble?" "I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!" After apologizing, I got her parcel. "Oh, good," she gushed. "Weve been waiting for this for ages." "What is it?" I asked. "My husbands new hearing aid."
我在邮局上班,对于顾客们的各种情绪早已习以为常了。所以,有一天当一个生气的'顾客气冲冲地来到我的工作台时,我还是非常平静地问她,“有什么问题吗?”“我早上上街了,”女顾客说,“我回到家的时候,我看到一个卡片,卡片说邮递员要给我们家送包裹,但没人在家。可是我的丈夫整个早上都在家啊。他说他什么都没听到”。在表示了歉意之后,我把包裹给了她。“噢,太好了”,那位女顾客喜形于色。“我们等这东西都等多少年了!”“是什么好东西?”我问。“我丈夫的新助听器”。
英文笑话段子带翻译 6
Intelligent son 聪明的儿子
One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didnt write the address and addressees name on the envelope.
After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?"
"Certainly"
"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"
"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."
"Then why you didnt take it back?"
"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"
有一天,父亲让八岁的儿子去寄一封信,儿子已经拿着信跑了,父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的'名字。
儿子回来后,父亲问他:“你把信丢进邮筒了吗?” “当然”“你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗?”
“我当然看见信封上什么也没写”“那你为什么不拿回来呢?”
“我还以为你不写地址和收信人,是为了不想让我知道你把信寄给谁呢!”
英文笑话段子带翻译 7
Sharing the Apples 分苹果
Harry was given two apples, a small one and a large one, by his Mum. Share them with your sister, she said.
So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started touching into the large one.
Cor! said his sister, If Mum had given them to me Id have given you the large one and had the small one myself.
Well, said Harry, thats what youve got, so what are you worrying about?
妈妈给了哈里两个苹果,一个大一点,另一个小点儿。跟妹妹分着吃。妈妈说。
所以,哈里就把小个的给了妹妹,自己开始啃那个大个的。
哼,妹妹说,如果妈妈给了我,我会把大的给你,把小的留给自己的.。
对呀,哈里说,你拿到的不就是小的吗?还着什么急呀?
英文笑话段子带翻译 8
接听熨斗Answer the Iron
A guy walks into his office ,and both of his ears are all bandaged up.
有一个人走进他的办公室,他的'两个耳朵都包扎了绷带。
The boss says,"What happened to your ears?"
老板说:“你的耳朵怎么啦?”
He says,"Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang!I accidentally answered the iron.
他说:“昨天电话响的时候,我正在用熨斗烫衬衫。我竟然无意闾就把熨斗拿来接听。
The boss says,"Well,that expains one ear,but what happened to your other ear?"
老板说:“嗯,好吧,那解释了一个耳朵,可是你的另一个耳朵又是怎么一回事呀?”
He says,"Well,jeez,I had to call the doctor!"
他说:“嗯,哎呀!我得打电给医生嘛!”
英文笑话段子带翻译 9
Flowers花
A new business was opening and one of the owners friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion.
有一家公司开幕,老板的其中一位朋友为了这件太事要送他花。
They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card,
他们到达了新的公司地点,老板读了卡片的. 内容:
"Rest in Place."
“安息吧”。
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.
老板非常生气就打电话给花店抱怨。
After he had told the florist of the obvious mitake
就在他告诉花店这项明显的错误,
and how angry he was ,
以及他有多么生气之后,
the florist replied,
花庙却回答说:
"Sir,I am really sorry for the mistake,
“先生,我真的对于这项错误感到十分抱歉,
but rather than getting angry,
但是与其生气,
you should imagine this :
你还不如应当想象
somewhere there is a funeral taking place today,
以下这个情况:今天有一个地方在举行葬礼,
and they have flowers with a note saying,
他们收到了花,还附上一张纸条说:
‘Congratulations on your new location "
‘恭喜新居落成!”’
英文笑话段子带翻译 10
A Materialistic Lawyer唯物主义的律师
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW,有一位律师打开他的BMW座车车门,when suddenly a car came along and hit the door,ripping it off completely.
当时刚好有一辆车子突然驶来撞上车门,而且把它完全给扯了下来。
When the police arrived at the scene,the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage tohis Pcious BMW.
当警察到达现场的时候,这名律师正在对他的昂贵BMW座车所受到的损害,痛苦地抱怨不已。他满腹牢骚的向警察嘀咕说:
"Officer,look what theyve done to my BMW",he whined.
“警官,你瞧瞧他们对我的BMW所干的好事啦!”
"You lawyers are so materialistic,you make me sick!!!"retorted the officer,这名警官却回嘴说,“你们这些律师实在太唯物主义了,你真让我觉得恶心!”
"Youre so worried about your stuid BMW that you didnt even notice that your left arm wasripped off!!!"
“你竟然这么担心你一的笨BMW车子,却没注意到你的左手臂被扯断了”
"Oh my God!" replied the lawyer,finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm oncewas,"Wheres my Rolex?!"
这名律师最后注意到流着血的左肩膀,也就是他的`手臂原先所在之处,他回答说:“哦,我的天哪!我的劳动士手表在哪里呀?”
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