英语笑话鉴赏
Customer:Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee.It will be wonderful if you serve me coffee free of charge today.
Waiter:“Yeah,you can have a free coffee.But we will charge your money for the seat and the cup 。
顾客：“每天你都会收我喝咖啡的钱，要是今天咖啡免费呐就太完美了”
服务员：但是我们会向你收位子占用费和使用杯子的费用。”
真的小猛士：美国9岁男孩徒手斗鳄鱼
A brave 9-year-old is recovering in hospital after he wrestled a 9-foot, 400lb alligator off him with his bare hands - and he now plans to make a necklace from a tooth doctors found embedded in a wound on his back.
美国佛罗里达州一名9岁的'小男孩，在湖中游泳时，遭到一条长9英尺(约2.7米长)、重400磅(约180多公斤)的短吻鳄袭击，赤手与其搏斗之后，小男孩身上多处受伤，目前正在医院治疗中。医生从他背部的伤口里取出一颗短吻鳄的牙齿，小男孩表示想把它做成项链。
James Barney Jr, spoke calmly and eloquently about his ordeal from hospital, where he was tucked up in bed with a teddy bear by his side. He was covered in some 30 teeth marks, doctors said.
小男孩名叫小詹姆斯·巴尼，他在医院里平静、生动地讲述了自己与短吻鳄搏斗的经历，在他床边还放有一只泰迪熊。医生说，小詹姆斯全身有30多处牙印。
The little boy described how it was a hot day so he had parked his bike and jumped into Lake Tohopekaliga - a lake that people are forbidden to swim in - when he felt something brush against his leg.
小詹姆斯说那天特别热，于是他就把自行车停在一旁自己跳进了托霍普卡莱加湖，这个湖是禁止人们在里面游泳的，刚一进去他就感觉有东西擦到他的腿了。
'It really amazed me what happened. At first, I thought someone was just playing with me, and I didn't know what happened,' he told ABC.
“后来发生的事情真的让我大吃一惊。但开始的时候，我以为是有人在跟我闹着玩，我并不知道发生了什么事情。”他告诉美国广播公司(ABC)的记者。
'I reached down to grab it, and I felt its jaw, I felt its teeth, and I didn't know what to do, so I immediately reacted and hit it a couple times. And I had enough strength to pry its jaw open.' The child pulled the powerful jaws open long enough to slide out and swim to shore.
“我潜入水中抓住了它，摸到了它的下巴，摸到了它的牙齿，可不知道该怎么做，不过我立刻就反应过来了赶紧猛打了它几下，并使劲撑开了它的嘴巴。”小詹姆斯把它的嘴巴撑得足够大后赶紧退后并向岸边游去。
Witnesses say the boy surfaced, screaming that he'd been bitten by an alligator. They immediately called 911.
目击者称小男孩浮出水面后尖叫着说自己被一只短吻鳄咬到了。于是他们立刻拨打911报警。
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