短的小英语笑话

短的小英语笑话（通用40篇）

　　总所周知，笑话是一种缓和气氛的好办法。小编在这里给大家分享短的小英语笑话带翻译，走过路过不要错过啦!

　　短的小英语笑话 1

　　There are five people in a bar, a bartender, three normal guys and a girl. The bar tender tells the guys, "I am opening up a bar and need a name for it." He then says, " That whoever thinks of the best name, that, that person could come to the grand opening for free."

　　Then he asks the first guy, the first guy is too drunk to answer and just falls of his bar stool, then he asks the second guy and he says, "To hell with you, I dont want to come to your new stupid bar."Finally he asks the third guy, the third guy says," Hang on, i am looking at Marys legs", then bar tender says,"Thats great, Marys Legs." About three months later the guy who won by coming up with the best name is waiting outside and a cop comes up to him and says," What are you doing sir? Then the guy says, "I am waiting for Marys legs to open so I can get a drink."!!!!!!!!!

　　短的小英语笑话 2

　　Tony and his father are eating dinner .

　　托尼正和他爸爸一起吃晚餐。

　　Suddenly Tony asks his father, “Dad, are flies yummy ?”

　　突然，托尼问他的`爸爸：“爸爸，苍蝇好吃吗?”

　　Dad frowns and says, “No, I think it’s yucky . Why do you ask me this question ? It’s a silly question.”

　　爸爸皱眉说：“我想不好吃。你怎么会问这个问题?这可是一个愚蠢的问题。”

　　But Tony says, “ There was one fly in your plate .”

　　可是托尼说：“刚才你盘子里有一只苍蝇。”

　　短的小英语笑话 3

　　Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.

　　小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

　　"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

　　“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”

　　"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

　　“我给了一个可怜的`老太婆，”他回答说。

　　"Youre a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

　　“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”

　　"She is the one who sells the candy."

　　“她是个卖糖果的。”

　　短的小英语笑话 4

　　During the computer class，the teacher chastised one boy for talking to the girl sitting behind him.

　　计算机课上，老师批评一个男生，因为他和后边的女生说话。

　　"I was just asking her a question，”the boy said.

　　“我只不过问她一个问题。”男生说。

　　"If you have a question, ask me, "the teacher replied

　　“如果你有问题，问我好了。”老师说道。

　　“OK，"the boy answered.“Do you want to go out with me Friday night?"

　　“那好吧，”这个男生说，“周五晚上你愿意和我一起出去吗?”

　　短的小英语笑话 5

　　An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida.His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.When he reached his hotel,he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

　　Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address,he did his best to type it in from memory.Unfortunately,he missed one letter,and his note was directed instead to an elderly preachers wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.When the grieving widow checked her e-mail,she took one look at the monitor,let out a piercing scream,and fell to the floor dead.

　　At the sound,her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

　　Dearest Wife,

　　Just got checked in.Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

　　Your Loving Husband.

　　P.S.Sure is hot down here.

　　短的小英语笑话 6

　　quick cleanup 快速清扫

　　unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. she put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. it read "thank you for not looking in the bathtub."

　　不速之客就在路上，我妈妈，一个完美的家庭主妇，正忙里忙外地整理。她分配给我爸和我哥哥的任务是打扫供客人使用的'浴室。一会儿之后，当她去检查的时候，她吃惊了，曾经一度杂乱的房间瞬间就被打扫干净了。接着她看到浴帘上有一张纸条，纸条上写着：“谢谢你没往浴缸里看。”

　　短的小英语笑话 7

　　A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."

　　"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.

　　Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "Im not dead. Im still alive."

　　"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

　　一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说：“我想他伤得很厉害。”

　　医生说：“恐怕他已经死了。”

　　听到医生的话，这个男人转动着头说：“我没死，我还活着。”

　　妻子说：“安静，医生比你懂得多。”

　　短的`小英语笑话 8

　　its me all right

　　A pretty young lady went to cash a check at a bank. The teller examined it, then asked, "Can you identify yourself? “Looking puzzled, the girl dipped into her handbag and pulled out a small mirror. She glanced into it for a moment, then smiled, "Yes, its me all right."

　　这就是我

　　一位年轻漂亮的女士到银行取钱。出纳员在检查了她的存折后问道：“您能证明您的身份吗？” 这个女孩听了这话以后看上去很迷惑，随后她从手提包里拿出一个小镜子。她对着镜子照了一会儿，笑了：“对呀，这就是我。

　　现在的'专栏不用权限就可以任意加入了,但是也发乱七八糟的了.请在此发贴的人,看清楚了好不好?

　　短的小英语笑话 9

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"

　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "Youre not coming empty-handed, are you?"

　　一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，用你的.胳膊肘按门铃。门开了后，再用你的脚把门推开。”

　　“为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?”

　　“天哪!” 吝啬鬼回答，“你总不会空着手来吧?”

　　短的小英语笑话 10

　　Black eyes

　　A man came to work on Monday morning with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.

　　The man replied, “On Sunday, I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her butt crack, so I was trying to be nice and I pulled it out for her. Then, she turned around and punched me in the eye.”

　　The boss asked, “Okay, so where did you get the other shiner?”

　　“Well,” the man said, “I figured she didn’t want it out, so I pushed it back in.”

　　短的小英语笑话 11

　　The Umbrella

　　A gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall, but he had put on the handle a card on which was written: "This umbrella belongs to a gentleman who can lift up a hundred pounds. I shall be back in ten minutes." When he came back, he found, instead of his umbrella, another card on which was written,"This card belongs to a man who can run tenmiles an hour. I shall not come back."

　　雨伞

　　一位住在旅馆的绅士把他的雨伞放在了大厅里，不过他在伞柄上系了一张卡片，上面写道，“此伞属于一位能举百磅的绅士。我将在十分钟内回来。当他回来时，发现雨伞已经不翼而飞，取而代之的`是另一张卡片，上面写着：“此卡是一位一小时能跑十英里的人留下的，我将永远不回来了。”

　　短的小英语笑话 12

　　Dumas仲马

　　One day a man was taunting Alexandre Dumas，the greatFrench novelist，with his ancestry. “Why，” snarled the fellow，“you are a quadroon;yourfather was a mulatto，and your grandfather was a negro.” “Yes，” roared Dumas，“and，if you wish to knowmygreatgrandfather was a monkey. In fact， my pedigree beganwhere yours terminates.”

　　有一天，一个人在嘲弄法国大小说家亚历山大·仲马，讥笑他的祖先。 那家伙厉声说：“唔，你是四分之一黑白混血儿，你父亲是黑白混血儿，而你的祖父是个黑人。” “是的'，”仲马大声回敬：“还有呢，如果你想知道的话， 我的曾祖父是一只猴子。其实我的血统起始于你的血统终止的地方。”

　　短的小英语笑话 13

　　A highway patrol officer stopped a speeding motorist. "Dont you know what the blinking lights and siren mean?" he demanded.

　　一位公路巡警截住了一个超速司机。“难道你不知道闪烁灯和警笛的意思吗？”他责问道。

　　"Yes, sir," replied the driver.

　　“知道，长官，”司机回答说。

　　"Then why didnt you pull over immediately?"

　　“那你为什么不立即靠边停车？”

　　"I would have, officer, " the man said. "But last month my wife ran off with a policeman, and I was afraid you were bringing her back.

　　“我本来想这样做的，长官。”那男子回答说，“但上个月我妻子和一位警察私奔了，我是害怕你把她带回来。”

　　短的.小英语笑话 14

　　The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.孩子们在天主教学校的'自助食堂中排队打午饭。

　　At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

　　在桌子的前端有一大堆苹果。修女写了一张字条，把它贴在了苹果盘上：“只能拿一个，上帝在看着。”

　　Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

　　继续排着队向前走，在桌子的尽头有一大堆巧克力脆饼。

　　A child had written a note, "Take all you want.God is watching the apples."

　　一个孩子写了张字条：“随便拿，上帝在看着苹果。”

　　短的小英语笑话 15

　　A child on Christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. Eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval. The manager, the shepherds, Jesus and Holy Family wore duly admired.

　　"But what"s that in the corner?" asked Mother.

　　"Oh, that"s their telly," replied the tot.

　　圣诞节时孩子要了纸和蜡笔，想画一张耶稣诞生像。最后这件艺术品被陈列出来供父母鉴赏。

　　他们对耶稣诞生后睡的'马槽，牧羊人，耶稣及其家庭都逐一表示赞赏。

　　“可是那个角落里是什么?”妈妈问。

　　“噢，那是他们的电视机，”孩子回答说。

　　短的小英语笑话 16

　　Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

　　"I think my friend is dead!" he yells. "What can I do?"

　　The operator says, "Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead."

　　There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, "Okay, now what?"

　　两个猎人在森林里打猎，突然一人晕倒了。他的.呼吸停止，眼神呆滞。另外一个人掏出手机，拨打911。

　　“我想我的朋友死了！”他喊道，“我该怎么办？”

　　接线员说：“请冷静。首先，请确认他是否真的死了。”接着一阵沉寂，然后是一声枪响。回到电话中，猎人接着说：“好了，然后呢？”

　　短的小英语笑话 17

　　After my husband，John，and I moved to Michigan from Nebraska，our new friends，proud of their beautiful tree一lined roads，teased us about the Mid-wests dull，flat，treeless land. When my parents，Nebraska farmers，visited us，I asked them about their trip.

　　我和丈夫约翰从内布拉斯加搬到密西根后，我们新认识的朋友们总为他们美丽的林荫大过引以为荣.他们嘲讽我们的中西部平原荒凉、贫瘩，连株枯树都没有。后来我父母从内布拉斯加的.老家来看我们，我问他们对旅途的感受。

　　What a boring drive，"my father replied."Once you get to Michigan, theres nothing to see but trees."

　　我父亲抱怨着:“枯澡，乏味，一进入密西根，除了树什么都没有。”

　　短的小英语笑话 18

　　Early Shopper

　　采购过早

　　It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.

　　那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉?”他问。

　　"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

　　“采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。

　　"Thats no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"

　　“这不算犯法，”法官回答，“你购物多早?”

　　"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

　　在商店开门之前，“犯人应道。

　　短的小英语笑话 19

　　An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman: "How much this stuff?"

　　一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。 她问店员：“这东西要多少钱？”

　　"Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap." The lady said, "It is too much, give it to me for fourteen." "I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven."

　　“七美元，太太，这是很便宜的。” 老太太说：“太贵了，十四美元差不多。” 店员忙说：“我没说十七美元，是七美元。”

　　"It is still too much," replied the old lady, "give it to me for five."

　　“还是太贵，”老太太说：“五美元，我就买啦。”

　　短的`小英语笑话 20

　　Boy, Oh Boy 让人无奈的'孩子

　　When theyre together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."

　　As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "Cmon, Steven, lets get dirty . "

　　我五岁的儿子和他的表弟在一起的时候，总要招来大乱。一个星期六，我开始抗议了。“好啦，你们两个，”我严厉地说，“不许叫喊，不许乱拿，不许哭闹，不许乱敲，不许取笑，不许扯淡，不许弄坏玩具，不许乱抓，不许打架。” 我刚转身要走，就听我儿子说：“来，斯蒂文，我们来把自己弄脏吧。”

　　短的小英语笑话 21

　　Lead us not into temptation

　　A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldnt find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I dont park here, Ill miss my appointment. Forgive us ourtrespasses."

　　When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "Ive circled this block for 10 years. If I dont give you a ticket Ill lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."

　　短的小英语笑话 22

　　A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.

　　Here is the situation, she said. A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.

　　His wife hears the commotion, knows that he cant swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?

　　A girl raised her hand and asked, to draw out all of his savings?

　　小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的.船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。

　　他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么? 一个女生举手答道，是不是去取他的存款?

　　短的小英语笑话 23

　　we attended the wedding of an acquaintances son. because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher. apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. we look forward to using it soon.

　　我们参加了一个熟人的儿子的婚礼。由于我们都不认识那个年轻人和他的新娘，所以我们决定送给他们一个实用的全家礼----一个灭火器。很明显，这对新人大批量制作了他们的感谢信，因为我们收到了一张卡片，上面写着：“非常感谢您的`漂亮的结婚礼物，我们期待着不久就用到它。”

　　短的小英语笑话 24

　　After two weeks of Air Force basic training. I called home. "You wouldnt believe how strict they are," I complained. "They even give demerits for things like not hanging your towel straight or nottightening the cap of your toothpaste properly."

　　"Well, dear," my mom responded, "dont think of it as basic training. Think of it as Mothersrevenge."

　　经过两个星期的空军基础训练，我给家里打电话，“你不相信他们的要求是多么的严格，”我抱怨道，“他们甚至对事情提出过分的要求，像毛巾挂得不直或牙膏盖没拧紧。”

　　“好，亲爱的`，”妈妈回道，“不要那样看待基础训练，把它看作是妈妈的报复吧。”

　　短的小英语笑话 25

　　《Who Is the Laziest》 谁最懒

　　Father: “Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?”

　　Tom: “I dont know, father.”

　　Father: “Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?”

　　Tom: “Our teacher, father.”

　　父亲：“哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒?”

　　汤姆：“我不知道，爸爸。”

　　父亲：“啊，不对，你知道!想想看，当别的'孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课?”

　　汤姆：“我们老师，爸爸。”

　　生难词：lazy adj.懒惰的

　　短的小英语笑话 26

　　Wife: "How would you describe me?"

　　妻子：你会怎么形容我呢?

　　Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

　　丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.

　　Wife: "What does that mean?"

　　妻子：那是什么意思?

　　Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."

　　丈夫：迷人的、魅力的'、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。

　　Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

　　妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?

　　Husband: "Im just kidding!"

　　丈夫：开个玩笑!

　　短的小英语笑话 27

　　《Who is Stupid》 谁愚蠢

　　A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying,"Everyone who thinks youre stupid, stand up!"

　　Little Johnny then stood up.

　　The teacher said,"Do you think youre stupid, Johnny?"

　　"No,but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

　　一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来?”她一开始就说。

　　小约翰尼站了起来。

　　“你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼?”老师问。

　　“不是的`，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”

　　生难词：stupid adj.愚蠢的，迟钝的

　　短的小英语笑话 28

　　A foreign visitor touring the great American West came across an Indian with his ear pressed tothe ground. 一位外国游客到美国大西部游览，碰到一个印第安人把耳朵紧贴在地上。

　　"What are you listening for?" heasked. "你在听什么呢?"他询问道。

　　“为了向你表示谢意，我送你一只龙虾。”说着他便给老板一只活蹦乱跳的大龙虾。

　　"Well, thats very kind of you. My wife and I will have it for dinner. " “您真好，我太太和我将以它当晚餐。”

　　"Oh, hes already had dinner. But I am sure hed love to take in a movie. " “喔，它已经吃过晚餐了，但我想它会喜欢看场电影。”

　　短的小英语笑话 29

　　Always Thirsty

　　"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."

　　"That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"

　　"No, but I am always thirsty!"

　　总感到口渴

　　一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”

　　“真是太糟糕了！”朋友说道：“你觉得疼吗？”

　　“不疼，可是我总感到口渴。”

　　作业:

　　A Useful Way

　　Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water?

　　Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.

　　Father: What"s that got to do with it?

　　Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.

　　短的.小英语笑话 30

　　不必再看眼科医生了

　　It had been many years since my last eye exam,and my wife was pestering me to make an appointment. The more she nagged , the more I procrastinated. Finally，she made an appointment for me.

　　我己经很多年没做眼睛检查了。我妻子总是催我去挂个号。她越是督我，我越是耽搁不去。最后，她替我挂了个号。

　　The day before I was to see the doctor，I was in an affectionate mood. After kissing and hugging her, I told her she really looked. good to me.,

　　在我去见医生的前一天，我的`情绪特别好。我对妻于又是亲又是抱，还说她是我眼里最漂亮的女人.

　　"That does it,”she said.“Im canceling your appointment."

　　她说:“这回眼睛没问题了，那我现在就去把号退了。”

　　短的小英语笑话 31

　　A Gentle Reminder委婉提醒

　　Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that weve been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"

　　Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"

　　婚后已久，我丈夫往往在一个特别事情上需要委婉的提醒。在我们结婚35周年纪念的早上，我们正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：“亲爱的，你意识到我们在这两个相同的.座位上已坐了整整35年了吗?”

　　他放下报纸，眼睛直直地望着我：“因此，你想交换座位吗?”

　　短的小英语笑话 32

　　At the police department, the phone rang. “Hallo, hallo!”

　　the policeman answered. “I’ve lost my cat!”

　　And the policeman said, “I’m sorry, sir,

　　that’s not the job of the police. We’re too busy!”

　　The person said, “But you don’t understand. This is a very

　　intelligent cat! He’s almost human; he can practically talk!”

　　So the policeman said, “Then you’d better hang up.

　　He might be trying to call you!”

　　警察局的电话响了，警察接起电话说：「喂!喂!」

　　「我的.猫不见了!」警察说：「先生，很抱歉!

　　这不是警察的职责，我们太忙了!」

　　对方说：「但是你不了解，这是一只很聪明的猫，

　　他几乎像人一样可以说话!」于是警察说道：

　　「那你最好挂断电话，他可能正试着打电话给你!」

　　短的小英语笑话 33

　　The Flying Nun

　　A Highway Trooper is surprised to find a nun behind the wheel of the car he has pulled over. "Im terribly sorry maam but its not safe to do 35 mph on the interstate."

　　"But all the signs said 35," she replied.

　　"Those are route signs, maam. This is route 35". At this point he looks in the back seat to see two more nuns, mouths ajar, eyes wide open, in an obvious state of shock.

　　"Whats the matter?" he asks.

　　"Oh, we just pulled off of route 99."

　　短的小英语笑话 34

　　who was the first man? 谁是世界上第一个男人

　　a teacher said to her class:”who was the first man?”

　　一个老师问她的.学生：“谁是世界上第一个男人”

　　“george washington,” a little boy shouted promptly.

　　一个小男孩立刻大声说：“乔治.华盛顿。”

　　“how do you make out that george washington was the first man?”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently.

　　老师带着宠溺的笑容问这个男生：“你如何证明乔治华盛顿是世界上第一个男人呢。”

　　“because,” said the little boy, “he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”

　　这个男孩子说：“因为，他是第一个挑起战争，第一个主张和平，并且是第一个深得民心的人。”

　　短的小英语笑话 35

　　A man goes to church and starts talking to God.

　　He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", than the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" .

　　一男子进入教堂和上帝对话。他问："主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答："一便士"，男子又问："那一百万年呢?"上帝说："一秒钟"，最后男子请求道："上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答："过一秒钟"。

　　短的小英语笑话 36

　　As our plane made its landing at O Hare, the flight attendant began her "welcome and thanks" speech.

　　当我们的飞机在欧海尔降落时，飞机的机组人员开始了她的“欢迎和感谢”的`演讲。

　　"Welcome to Chicago, where the local time is 6: 15. It has been our pleasure to serve you today. We hope you have enjoyed your flight. We know you have a choice of bankrupt airlines, and we thank you for choosing United.”

　　“欢迎来到芝加哥，当地时间是六点十五分。今天能够给你们提供服务是我们的荣幸。我希望你们对此次飞行感到满意。虽然你们选择了一家破产的航空公司，但是我们还是感谢你们选择了联合航空公司。”

　　短的小英语笑话 37

　　Reason of Punishment 惩罚的原因

　　One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didnt do.

　　The mother exclaimed, But thats terrible! Im going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didnt do?

　　The little girl replied, My homework.

　　一天，小女孩从学校回到家里，对妈妈说：妈妈，今天在学校里我因为一件我没有做的事情而受到惩罚。

　　妈妈激动地说：那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老师好好谈一谈，对了，你没有做过的那件事是什么?

　　小女孩回答说：我的'家庭作业。

　　短的小英语笑话 38

　　心不在焉的老师

　　An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I dont know whats the matter with me.Ive been limping for the last half hour.”

　　有一天，人们看见一个有名的心不在焉的老师在路上走，他的一只脚一直踏在街沟里，另一只脚踩在人行道上。 一个碰见他的学生说： “晚安，老师。您怎么了?” “啊，”这位老师回答说：“我想我离开家的'时候还挺好的，可是现在我不知道出了什么毛病。我已经一瘸一拐走了半个小时了。”

　　短的小英语笑话 39

　　One Side of the Case

　　一面之辞

　　A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand.

　　一位法官问我们这群修补陪审员是否有人应当免权。一个人举起了手。

　　"I cant hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge.

　　“我的左耳听不见。”那人告诉法官。

　　"Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The man nodded his head.

　　“你的右边耳朵听得见吗?”法官问道。那人点了点头。

　　"Youll be allowed to serve on the jury," the judge declared. "We only listen to one side of the case at a time."

　　“你将被允许加入陪审团，”法官宣布。“我们每次只听一面之辞。

　　短的.小英语笑话 40

　　A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest boy and returned to her.

　　一位女士圣诞节购物时丢了钱包。一个诚实的小男孩捡到了钱包，还给了她。

　　Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm...thats funny. When I lost my purse there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."

　　她看了看钱包，说：“嗯……真有趣。我丢钱包时，里面有一张20元的钞票。现在却有20张一元的钞票。”

　　The boy quickly replied, "Thats right, lady. The last time I found a ladys purse, she didnt have any change for a reward."

　　那个男孩马上回答说：“没错，太太。上次我捡到一位女士的'钱包，她没有零钱酬谢。”

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