英语笑话带翻译爆笑精选
爱笑的人，运气总不会太差，那么你喜欢笑么?这里收集整理了好些搞笑的英语笑话带翻译爆笑精选，一起来看看吧!说不定能点中你的笑血哦!
英语笑话带翻译爆笑精选一
Charity Begins at Home
慈善应由家中做起
Sam Sidney was going door to door selling raffle tickets to raise funds for the charitableorganization of which he was a member.
山姆，希德尼正挨家挨户推销他所属的一家慈善机构的彩券以筹募基金。
One morning found him knocking on the door of old Mrs. Sullivan.
有一天早上他敲了苏利文太太的门。
"Good morning, Mrs. Sullivan, I represent the South Savannah Singing and Social Society" saidSam.
“您早!苏利文太太，我是代表南方萨瓦那音乐及公关协会的。”
"What's it that you say?" croaked the old lady.
“你说什么啊?，’老太太大声问道。
"I SAY I'M SELLING RAFFLE TICKETS FOR THE SOUTH SAVANNAH SING-ING AND SOCIALSOCIETY ! "
“我说我正为南方萨瓦那音乐及公关协会卖彩券!”
"Eh?"
“哦?”
"RAFFLE TICKETS! SOUTH SAVANNAH SINGING AND SOCIAL SOCIETY! "
“彩券!南方萨瓦那音乐及公关协会!”
"You'll have to speak up, young man, there's no use mumbling.
“你应当说大声点，年轻人，喃喃低语是没用的。”
"Well, fuck you, Mrs. Sullivan," said Sam under his breath as he turned away.
“喔!去你的，苏利文太太!”山姆离开时屏气说。
Mrs. Sullivan closed the door and said, "Well, fuck the South Savannah Singing and SocialSociety. "
苏利文太太关门说道： “去你妈的，南方萨瓦那音乐及公关协会!”
英语笑话带翻译爆笑精选二
What is the bad news?
坏消息呢?
A guy goes to see his doctor to get his test results. "Well Mr. Jones, I have some good news& some bad news for you. The good news is that you have only 24hrs to live. "That's thegood news?" wails Jones, "What is the bad news?" The Doctor gives a sheepish grin and says, "I should have told you yesterday!!!"
小伙子去医院询问诊断结果。“琼斯先生，我要告诉你一个好消息和一个坏消息，好消息是你只能活24小时了。”“这是好消息?”琼斯惨叫了一声，“那么坏消息呢?”医生苦笑一声：“我应该昨天告诉你这些的.。”
英语笑话带翻译爆笑精选三
Be kind to animals
爱护动物
The owner of the hamburger stand was rather surprised to see a man walk in with threeiguanas, but when the man ordered four hamburgers with fries, the owner complied with ashrug.
有个人牵了三只大蜥蜴走进一家汉堡店，老板吓了一跳。接着他点了四份汉堡和薯条，老板耸耸肩答应了他的要求.
The man and his iguanas enjoyed their dinner and left.
那个老兄和他的蜥蜴享受过晚餐后便离开了。
The next day the man returned with two kangaroos and the same scene was repeated.
第二天，那个人带了两只袋鼠，又点了相同的东西。
On the third day the man entered with two orangutans and a chimpanzee, and the ownercouldn't help making a remark.
第三天，他带了两只红毛猩猩和一只黑猩猩。
"You certainly seem to be an animal lover," he said.
老板实在忍不住，便说：“您实在是个爱护动物的有心人。”
"That's true," said the man, "and I'd like you to know how much we appreciate your letting useat here. Some proprietors object. "
“那倒是真的，”那位仁兄回答说道.‘‘另外我也要感谢你让我们进来吃晚餐，许多店老板都拒绝卖东西给我们。”
"That's quite alright," said the shopkeeper.
“没有问题啦!”店老板说。
"As a token of my appreciation, I’d like to give you this lobster. " And the animal lover handedover a live, wriggling crustacean
“为了向你表示谢意，我送你一只龙虾。”说着他便给老板一只活蹦乱跳的大龙虾。
"Well, that's very kind of you. My wife and I will have it for dinner. "
“您真好，我太太和我将以它当晚餐。”
"Oh, he's already had dinner. But I am sure he'd love to take in a movie. "
“喔，它已经吃过晚餐了，但我想它会喜欢看场电影。”
英语笑话带翻译爆笑精选四
Put Yourself in My Place
设身处地替人想一想
Down on the farm, Mom told Dad to fix the outhouse,
某一农场上，老妈要老爸去修理茅房。
Dad took a look at the shitter and returned to Mom.
老爸只瞧了茅房一眼就回来了。
"There ain't nothin' wrong with that shithouse, Mom. "
“那个茅房什么问题也没有啊，孩子的娘。”
Mom took Dad back to the out house and stuck his head down in the hole.
老妈将老爸带回茅房，把他的头塞进茅坑当中。
"Hey," said Dad, "my beard is stuck!"
“嘿!”老爸说道，“我的胡子粘住了!”
"Aggravatin', ain't it?"
“问题严重了，是不是呢?”
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