Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications(资格证书，职位要求) . Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.
I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.
A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. Well, sit down and eat your tea, said his mother. Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it.
Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.
That's because it's empty, said his bright son. You'd be all right if you had something in it.
A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.
Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.
There was a small boy who had been given a little terrier for his very own, on which he bestowed the name of Paddy, and loved mightily. He was very saddened by the fact that he could not take his pet away with him on his holidays, which he was spending with some relatives in the country.
Whilst he was away Paddy's young life was cut short by an unfortunate adventure with a motor. The boy's mother feared he would take the news very hardly on his return,she broke it very gently,therefore, and was rather surprised that the little lad did not seem much perturbed. Later, however, she heard him weeping lustily in his bed. He was inarticulate with grief, but his brother explained that he was cryingabout Paddy.
But, said the mother, I told him about it this morning, and he did not seem to mind!
The brother explained, yes, but he thought you said Daddy.