讲给孩子听的英语笑话一：Like a Straw
There were these two not so bright guys who had to get across the desert. Since they didn't have enough money for a car they decided to buy a camel.
The camel dealer promised them that the camel would get them across the desert if they made sure he was full of water before they left. They took the camel down to the water hole, but the camel would not drink. So finally the first guy says: "I have an idea, why don't I hold his head down in the water and you suck on his butt. That way the water will be drawn up into him like a straw." The second gut thought about this for a while and finally agreed.
After a while the first guy asks "Well is it working?"
The second guy replied "I think it is going to work, but you have to pick his head up just a little because I'm just getting mud."
There were three guys hitchiking along the roads of a plain, boring field because their car overheated from the long drive. Exhausted, hungry, and thirsty from the long walk, they weredesperately willing to stay over anywhere. Fortunately, they saw about a mile ahead of them a cow ranch, filled with hundreds of cows. They decided to stay there for the night. So they looked for the main office to ask the ranch owner if they could stay for the night. However, the ranch owner left for the day and no one was there. Too tired from their journey, they decided rather to sleep with the cows than walk forever. They each slept under a cow.
One guy said, "I'm hungry and thirsty, what will we eat and drink?"
Another guy suggested to drink the milk from the cow since they were lying beneath the milk sac. So they began to suck and drink.
The first guy said, "My cow's milk is so good, I finished it all and now I'm full."
The second guy said, "My cow's milk is so good, I finished it all and now I'm full."
The third guy said, "My cow's milk doesn't taste quite right."
The first and second guy then said to the third guy, "Well, try another nipple, that one probably has no more milk."
The third guy in a confused state exclaimed, "But how come my cow has only one, long, nipple!?"
I was surprised to learn that my 72-year-old mother dared to drive 900 miles in a 12-year-old car to visit me.When asked how she made out，she told me just fine...until her second night. She had filled the gas tank and didn't have the money for a motel room.
"What did you do?"I asked.
" Well，"she began，“I was driving through this small town and feeling very sleepy. A policeman pulled me over and asked if I had been drinking. When I told him no，he wanted to know why I was weaving all over the road，I explained my situation,’‘Follow me，”he ordered.We then drove to a motel where the nice officer paid for my night's lodging.
"As he was leaving,"Mother continued,”he turned to me and said,I Ma'am，the next time you have to visit your daughter，please take another route.'”
讲给孩子听的英语笑话四：A Girl's Name
When our daughter was born, we named her Myles, after my beloved late(已故的) father, despite family warning that the name was too masculine(男性的) .
Years later, when I felt she was old enough to understand, I explained to Myles, Your name is very special. I named you after my own father because I loved him very much. I know he would be proud of you.
Myles thought carefully about this and then said, I know all that, Mom. But I don't understand why my grandfather had a girl's name.