搞笑的英语幽默笑话

时间：2020-11-03 10:31:56 英语笑话我要投稿

搞笑的英语幽默笑话

　　搞笑的英语幽默笑话小故事来袭，大家快来看看!

搞笑的英语幽默笑话

　　英语幽默Another 40 Years to live

　　A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didn't recognize you."

　　一名中年妇女心脏病突发被送到了医院，在手术台上，濒临死亡之际，她看到了上帝，于是，她问上帝是不是她的日子到头了。上帝回答说，“还没有，你还能活43年，2个月零8天。” 身体快要康复的时候，这名女士想到自己还要活那么多年，得好好对待自己，于是决定先不出院，而是去给自己整整容，吸吸脂，隆隆胸，然后还做了一个腹部拉皮和其它一些美容美体手术。她甚至还请人到医院里面帮她头发给染了。做完最后一个手术，这位女士出院了，但就在过马路的时候，她被一辆风驰电挚赶回医院的救护车给撞死了。再一次，她又站到了上帝的'面前，她大惑不解地问上帝，“我记得你说我还能再活40年?” 上帝回答，“那个时候我没认出你来”。

英语幽默笑话

　　I Cant Let Him Get Away

　　A male crab(螃蟹) met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away .So they got married immediately.

　　The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married."

　　"Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day.

　　不能让他跑了

　　一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹，便要娶她为妻。她注意到他走路是直着走，而不是横着走。哇!她想，这只雄蟹可真特别，我可不能让他跑了。因此他们立刻结婚了。

　　第二天，她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了?”她问，“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的。”

　　“哦，宝贝，”他回答说，“我不可能每天都喝那么多。”

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