精选经典爆笑英语笑话
电脑问题
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges，delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"
我在惠普公司打印机部做技术支持工作已经有一个月了，有一天我接到一位客户的电话，她的问题我没办法解决。她的问题是：打印机不能打出来黄色，但是其它颜色都正常。这让我觉得很纳闷，因为三原色就是蓝、红、黄。我建议客户更换墨盒、删了驱动程序然后重新安装，但是都没有效果。我咨询同事们，他们也不知道该怎么办。经过两个多小时的交涉，我打算让客户把打印机寄给我们，这时候她平静地说了一句：“我是不是应该把这张黄纸扔了换一张白纸再打印试试。”
谁欠谁钱
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation.
律师的狗，没有拴而到处闲逛，它来到一家肉店，偷走了一块 烤肉。店主来到律师的办公室，问道“如果一条没栓的.狗从我的商店里偷了块肉，我有权利从狗的主人那里要回损失吗?律师答道：“完全可以”，“那你欠我 8.50美元，你的狗没栓而且今天从我的店里头了块肉”，律师什么都没说，马上给他写了一张支票。一些天后，店主打开邮箱，发现一封来自律师的信，信上写 道：咨询费250美元。
打气筒里面的气
The neighbor often borrowed my inflator.
One day, my four-year-old daughter suddenly told me: "Papa, what shall we do if the air of our inflator is used up?"
邻居经常借我家的打气筒。
有一天，4岁的女儿突然告诉我说：“爸爸，我们的打气筒里面的气用完了怎么办?”
视情况而定
One day a doctor went to a store and bought a pair of shoes. Before he left the shoes counter, he asked the salesgirl: "How long will this pair of shoes last?"
"It depends. If you don t use it, the shoes will never wear out."
Several days later the salesgirl fell ill and went to a hospital. And the happened to be the customer she served.
After the girl got the prescription from the doctor, she asked: "How soon will I get better with the medicine?"
"It depends." The doctor answered, "If you don t use it, you will never get better."
一天，一位医生到鞋店买了双鞋。他在离开柜台之前，问售货员：“这双鞋能穿多长时间?”
“视情况而定。如果您不穿它，那它们永远也不会坏。”
几天后，这位售货员病了，去医院看病。这位医生碰巧是那位顾客。
当售货员拿了处方后，问道：“吃了这药，我的病多长时间才能好呀?”
“视情况而定。”医生说，“如果你不吃药，你的病永远也好不了。”
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