英语笑话带翻译(精选15则)
笑话是引人发笑的话或事情。笑话具有篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,但往往出人意料,给人突然之间笑点来了的奇妙感觉,大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象,具有讽刺性和娱乐性,其趣味有高下之分。以下是小编整理的英语笑话带翻译,欢迎阅读。

英语笑话带翻译 1
1、Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."The little turtle replied, "I will, if you dont drink my offee.""We wont," the other two promised.Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isnt coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I wont go."
三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。它们刚到咖啡店的门口,就下起雨来。于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说,“回家去取伞吧。”最小的'乌龟说,“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了,我就去。”“我们不喝,”另外两只乌龟答应说。两年后,大乌龟对中乌龟说,“好吧,我猜他肯定不回来了,我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”正在这时,一个声音从门外传来,“你们要是喝了,我就不去。”
2、A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place.Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution."Great idea!" the chicken cried."Lets offer hem ham and eggs?""Not so fast," said the pig testily. "For you, thats a contribution. For me, its a total commitment."
一只猪和一只鸡路过一所教堂,那里有一场盛大慈善活动正在进行着。在精神上收到触动的猪向小鸡提出建议:他们每个人作出点自己的贡献。“好主意!”鸡尖叫道,“让我们给腿和鸡蛋吧?”“着什么急”猪不耐烦地说,“对你来说,是一个贡献,对我来说,这是一个完全的献身。”
3、A jackal who was going to be eaten by a lion. The jackal said to the lion: "No, please, you cant eat me! You cant eat me! This will be a great mistake. If you eat me, thatll be terrible, that will be a disaster, that will be the end of the world!"The lion was very puzzled and said: "How come? How come if I eat you, the world will end?"The jackal said:"Because if you eat me, that will be the end of the world for me!"
有只狼快被狮子吃掉了。狼对狮子说:“求求你不要吃我!你不能吃我,这是一个天大的错误!如果你吃了我,那就惨了,会有灾难、会世界末日!”狮子满脸疑惑地问:“为什么把你吃掉就会世界末日?”狼回答:“如果你吃了我,就是我的世界末日啊!”
英语笑话带翻译 2
1、The Climate of New Zealand
Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?
Matthew: Very Cold, sir.
Teacher: Wrong.
Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!
新西兰的气候
老师:马修,新西兰的气候怎么样?
马修:先生,那里的天气很冷。
老师:错了。
马修:可是,先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。
2、My Sisters Fingers
Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?
Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.
Teacher: I dont see any bandages.
Kevin: Oh, they werent my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.
我妹妹的手指头
老师:凯温,这次你怎么又迟到了?
凯温:对不起,老师,我在家钉钉子,砸坏了两个手指头。
老师:怎么没有扎绷带呀?
凯温:噢,砸的不是我的手指头,我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。
3、All Except the Music
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"
"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."
除了音乐
一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐,就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象,她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候,她问小萨莉:“你今天玩得好吗?”
“噢,好极了,小姐,” 萨莉说,“除了音乐其它都很好。”
4、The plural Form of "Child"
Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?
Tom: Men.
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
Tom: Twins.
"孩子"的复数形式
老师:汤姆,‘男人’这个词的复数形式是什么?
汤姆:男人们。
老师:答得好。那‘孩子’的复数形式呢?
汤姆:双胞胎。
5、When Do People Talk Least?
Student A: When do people talk least?
Student B: In February.
Student A: Why?
Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
人们什么时候说话最少?
学生甲:人们在什么时候说话最少?
学生乙:在二月。
学生甲:为什么呢?
学生乙:因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。
6、The Reason of Being Late
Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?
Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, School -- Go Slow.
迟到的原因
老 师:约翰尼,为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
约翰尼:每当我经过学校附近的拐角处,就见路牌上写着‘学校-缓行’。
7、Q: Whats the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?
冰山和衣刷之间有什么区别?
A: One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
一个 撞 船 一个 刷 大衣!(单词的拼写造成的JOKE)
8、He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: Thats too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?
约翰尼:他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿?
约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。
9、I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"Id know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”
“一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
10、A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"Youre a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
1好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的'钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
11、Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "Whats the meaning of the word Drunk, dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " theres only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”
12、Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guests plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说:“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上,先生。”那小男孩说。
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