让人喷饭的英语笑话（精选9篇）
笑话来源于生活，却又可以让我们的生多些欢乐、开心，现在，一起来开心爆笑下。以下是小编整理的让人喷饭的英语笑话，仅供参考，大家一起来看看吧。
让人喷饭的英语笑话 1
A Bad Impression
一个坏印象
My husband and I are both writers. During dinner conversations, we often tell our childrenabout our working days. It wasnt clear how much they absorbed until one day I overheard myseven-year- old, Lucy, cry out in frustration at her five-year-old sister, Charlotte, "You, you...you editor!"
我丈夫和我都是作家。晚夕谈话中，我们经常给孩子们谈到我们的工作。没人清楚他们听懂了多少。直到有一天，我偶然听到七岁的'女儿卢希烦恼地向她五岁的妹妹喊道：“你，你----你这个编辑!”
让人喷饭的英语笑话 2
Expensive Advice
昂贵的建议
The doctor finally reached his table at a dinner, after breaking away from a woman who soughtadvice on a health problem.
大夫在打发走了一个就健康问题向他咨询的妇女之后，最后来到餐桌上。
"Do you think I should send her a bill?" the doctor asked a lawyer who sat next to him.
“你认为我应该向她收费吗?”大夫问坐在身边的`一个律师。
"Why not?" the lawyer replied. "You rendered professional services by giving advice."
“有什么不应该?”律师答道，“你通过提建议提供了职业性服务。”
"Thanks," the physician said. "I think Ill do that."
“谢谢，”大夫说道，“看来我得这么做。”
When the doctor went to his office the next day to send the bill to the woman, he found aletter from the lawyer. It read:
第二天当大夫去办公室给那位妇女写账单时，他收到律师的一封信。信中写道：
"For legal services, $50."
“请付法律服务费50美元。”
让人喷饭的英语笑话 3
But the teacher cried
老师哭了
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled.
六岁的约翰娇生惯养。
His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wantedanything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his firstday away from his grandmothers loving arms.
他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的`怀抱。
When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.
约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：
"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"
“学校怎么样?你过的好吗?哭了没有?”
"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didnt cry, but the teacher did!"
“哭?”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”
让人喷饭的英语笑话 4
A man tried to get a job in a stage show.
一个人想在一个舞台剧中找份工作。
"What can you do?" asked the producer.
“你能干什么呢?”负责人问。
"Imitate birds," the man said.
“模仿鸟儿，”那人说。
"Are you kidding?" answered the producer, "People like that are a dime a dozen."
“你在开玩笑吧?”负责人答道，“那样的人一毛钱可以找一打。”
"Well, I guess thats that." said the actor, as he spread his arms and flew out the window.
“噢，那就算了。”那名演员说着，展开翅膀，飞出了窗口。
让人喷饭的英语笑话 5
The Vacuum Cleaner Salesman（吸尘器推销员）
A vacuum cleaner salesman came to my door, poured a bag of dog shit on my carpet and said: "Sir, if this vacuum cant clean it completely, Ill eat whatevers left."
I said: "I hope youre hungry cause they cut off the electricity this morning."
中文翻译：
一个吸尘器推销员上门，往我地毯上倒了一袋狗屎，说：“先生，要是这吸尘器吸不干净，剩下的我全吃了。”
我答：“那你可得饿坏了 —— 今早停电了啊。”
让人喷饭的英语笑话 6
The Clever Student（机灵学生）
Teacher: "Whoever answers my next question can go home early."
One boy immediately throws his schoolbag out the window.
Teacher: "Who just did that?!"
Boy: "Me! Now Im going home!"
中文翻译：
老师：“谁能答出我下一个问题，就能提前放学。”
一个男生立刻把书包扔出窗外。
老师：“谁干的？！”
男生：“我！现在我要回家啦！”
让人喷饭的英语笑话 7
Marriage Math（婚姻数学题）
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "Aw, thats sweet! What does it mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous, Hot."
Wife: "But what about IJK?"
Husband: "Im Just Kidding!"
中文翻译：
妻子：“你会怎么形容我？”
丈夫：“ABCDEFGHIJK。”
妻子：“哇，好甜！是什么意思呀？”
丈夫：“迷人的、漂亮的、可爱的、讨人喜欢的、优雅的、时髦的、惊艳的、火辣的`。”
妻子：“那 IJK 呢？”
丈夫：“我只是在开玩笑（Im Just Kidding）！”
让人喷饭的英语笑话 8
The Goldfish Plan（金鱼饲养计划）
Stan: "I won 92 goldfish at the fair!"
Fred: "Where are you gonna keep them?"
Stan: "In the bathroom."
Fred: "But what if you need to take a bath?"
Stan: "Ill blindfold them!"
中文翻译：
斯坦：“我在游园会赢了 92 条金鱼！”
弗雷德：“你打算放哪儿养啊？”
斯坦：“浴室里。”
弗雷德：“那你要洗澡的时候咋办？”
斯坦：“我把它们眼睛蒙起来不就行了！”
让人喷饭的英语笑话 9
The Cemetery Manager（墓地管理员）
Friend: "My uncle has 1000 people working under him. Hes such a big shot!"
Me: "Wow, what does he do?"
Friend: "Hes a maintenance man in a cemetery."
中文翻译：
朋友：“我叔叔手下有 1000 号人干活，他可太牛了！”
我：“哇，他是做啥的？”
朋友：“他是墓地的管理员。”
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