英语笑话笑带翻译

时间：2020-10-25 19:24:35 英语笑话我要投稿

英语笑话大全笑带翻译

　　你身边真正的朋友，跟你美丑没多大关系，跟你有钱没钱没多大关系，下面，小编给大家收集整理了英语笑话大全笑带翻译，一起来学学幽默，收集好人缘吧!

英语笑话大全笑带翻译

　　英语笑话大全笑带翻译篇一：酒后驾车

　　Late one night a police officer was patrolling a rowdybar to anticipate possible DUI violations.

　　一天深夜，一名警察去一个经常有人闹事的酒吧门口巡逻，为了避免有酒后驾车的情况发生。

　　At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of thebar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he found his.

　　酒吧打烊了，他看见一个家伙跌跌撞撞的跑出来，一下摔在路边，随后又用钥匙试着开了五辆车的门才找到他自己的车。

　　Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.

　　坐进车里，好几分钟他又都是在摸着那些钥匙。

　　Everyone else left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away.

　　这时人们都从酒吧出来并且开车走了。最后他也发动了车子准备开走，

　　The police officer was waiting for him and turned on his light and pulled the driver over, readhim his rights and administered the breathalyzer test.

　　警察已经等这个机会很久了，他打开灯，把司机从车里拉出来，给他宣读了他所享有的法定权利，然后作了酒精的测试。

　　The test results showed a reading of 0.00.

　　测试的结果是零，

　　The puzzled officer demanded to know how could that be.

　　于是困惑的警察问他是为什么，

　　The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy!"

　　司机说：“今晚他们派我当诱饵。”

　　英语笑话大全笑带翻译篇二：离事故有多远?

　　A carpenter was giving evidence about an accidenthe had witnessed.

　　一位木匠正在为他目击的一起事故作证。

　　The judge asked him how far away he was from theaccident.

　　法官问他当时离事发现场有多远。

　　The carpenter replied "twenty seven feet, six-and-one-half- inches".

　　木匠回答，“27英尺，6.5英寸”。

　　"What? How come you are so sure of that distance?" asked the judge.

　　法官问：“什么?你怎么能这样确定?”

　　"Well, I knew some idiot would ask me. So I measured it!" replied the carpenter.

　　木匠回答，“是啊，我知道一定会有傻瓜问我这个问题，所以我事先测量了一下。”

　　英语笑话大全笑带翻译篇三：电子邮件

　　A man left for a vacation to Jamaica.

　　有个人去牙买加度假，

　　His wife was on a business trip and was planning tomeet him there the next day.

　　他的妻子正好出差，所以打算在他到之后的第二天去找他。

　　When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail message.

　　他到了宾馆，想要给妻子发封邮件，

　　Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his bestto type it in from memory.

　　但是记着邮箱的纸找不到了，于是他凭着记忆把信发到了一个邮箱。

　　Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher'swife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

　　很不幸，他漏掉了一个字母，因此他的信发到了一个老传教士的妻子的邮箱里，而传教士恰好在前一天去世了。

　　When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out apiercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.

　　悲痛的老妇人察看邮箱，看着显示器屏幕她尖叫一声，随后就倒在地上死去了。

　　At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: "Dearest Wife,Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

　　听到她的声音，家人赶忙跑进她的房间，只见这样一句话显示在屏幕上：“亲爱的，快来吧。为了你明天的.到来，一切都准备好了。爱你的丈夫。

　　Your Loving Husband. P.S. Sure is hot down here."

　　顺便说一句，这里可真够热的。”

　　英语笑话大全笑带翻译篇四：

　　A farmer and his son, traveling by horse and buggy up a narrow lane, met a motorist going the other way. There was no room to pass for two miles in either direction. The motorist, in hurry, honked his horn .

　　"If you don't back up," said the farmer, rolling up his sleeves, I won't like what I'm going to have to do." The surprised driver put his car in reverse and backed up two miles, allowing the horse and buggy to go by. "What was it you wouldn't have liked to have done back there?" asked the farmer's son.

　　"Back up two miles," replied the farmer.

　　一位农夫和他的儿子乘坐轻便马车来到一段窄路，他们遇到一个开车的人向相反的方向去。两个方向的两英里以内都没有地方可以使他们相擦而过。驾车人甚是着急，按响了喇叭。 “如果你不后退，”农夫说着撸起了袖子，“我可不喜欢我将不得不做的事。”司机吃惊不小，挂上倒挡，向后退了两英里，让轻便马车先过去。

　　“刚才在那儿你说过的你不喜欢要做的事是什么?”农夫的儿子问道。

　　“退后两英里，”农夫回答道。

　　英语笑话大全笑带翻译篇五：

　　There was a little old lady who was nearly blind, and she had three sons who wanted to prove which one was the best to her.

　　从前有一个近乎失明的小老太，她有三个儿子，每一个都想向母亲证明自己对她最好。

　　Son 1 bought her a 15-room mansion, thinking this would surely be the best that any of them could offer her.

　　第一个儿子为她买下一栋有15个房间的大屋，他觉得这是对母亲最好的孝顺方式，其他兄弟都比不上。

　　Son 2 bought her a beautiful Mercedes with a chauffeur included, thinking this would surely win her approval.

　　二儿子为她买了一辆漂亮的奔驰，还配了个司机。他也觉得他一定会赢了。

　　Son 3 had to do something even better, so he bought her a parrot that he had been training for 15 years to memorize the entire Bible. You could ask the parrot any verse in the Bible, and he could quote it word for word. What a gift that would be.

　　老三为母亲买了一只鹦鹉。这只鹦鹉接受了15年的训练，能一字不落地背诵整部圣经，并且不论你问他什么，他都能从圣经里原句引出。

　　Well, the old lady went to the first son and said, "Son, the house is just gorgeous, but it's really much too big for me. I only live in one room, and it's too large to clean and take care of. I really don't need the house, but thank you anyway." Then she confronted her second son with, "Son, the car is beautiful. It has everything you could ever want on it, but I don't drive and really don't like the chauffeur, so please return the car."

　　这位老太太对他的第一个儿子说：“孩子，你买的房子很棒。但是它太大了，我只能睡一间屋，还要花时间去打理剩下的房间，谢谢你，但我实在不需要它。”接着她对二儿子说：“你的车也很好，再不能找到比那更棒的车了，但我不会开车，也不喜欢那个司机，所以你把它拿去推了吧!”

　　Next, she went to Son 3 and said, "Son, I just want to thank you for your most thoughtful gift. That chicken was delicious."

　　最后，她对她的小儿子说：“孩子，我要感谢你最棒的礼物!那只鸡实在是美味啊!”

【英语笑话大全笑带翻译】相关文章：