英语故事小笑话

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英语故事小笑话（通用19篇）

　　引导语：很多人喜欢看笑话，那么有哪些英语故事小笑话呢？接下来是小编为你带来收集整理的文章，欢迎阅读！

英语故事小笑话（通用19篇）

　　英语故事小笑话 1

　　Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but "never boiled over-just simmered." On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends.

　　Upon his return he exclaimed, "Whew! Thank goodness I never married any of those women - Theyre all widows now!

　　弗兰克叔叔七十八岁了，富有而健康。他是个终生单身汉。他曾追求过很多女孩，但“从不过热----见好就收”。一天他突发奇想，决定四处走走，去看看他那些接近一打的旧时女友。

　　他回来即叹道：“嘘！谢天谢地幸亏我没娶那些女人中的任何一个。如今她们都成寡妇了！”

　　英语故事小笑话 2

　　A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player.

　　The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, Ill play it."

　　一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。他喝了一口放下。当他环视酒吧时，发现一只猴子荡下来，在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。该男子问酒吧招待，这只猴子是谁的。服务员回答说是钢琴手的。

　　男子走到钢琴手面前问：“你知道你的猴子偷了我的`啤酒吗？”钢琴手回答说：“没有，但是如果你能哼唱，我会为你演奏的。”

　　英语故事小笑话 3

　　Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

　　"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

　　"Youre a good boy," said the mother proudly.

　　"Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

　　"She is the one who sells the candy."

　　译文：

　　小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

　　“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

　　“我给了一个可怜的.老太婆，”他回答说。

　　“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。

　　“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”

　　“她是个卖糖果的。”

　　英语故事小笑话 4

　　The school of agricultures dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student. "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked.

　　"I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied.

　　"Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the impressed dean.

　　"No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it.

　　农校的招生办主任在面试一个上线的学生，“你为何要选择这个职业？”他问。 “我梦想以经营农场来赚一百万元，就像我父亲一样。”这个学生回答说。 “你父亲经营农场赚了一百万元？”主任惊诧地问道。

　　“没有，”这位申请人回答道，“他总是梦想着赚到这个数目。”

　　英语故事小笑话 5

　　The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled(被宠坏的) . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum(乱发脾气) . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmothers loving arms.

　　When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.

　　Was school all right? she asked, Did you get along all right? did you cry?

　　Cry? John asked. No, I didnt cry, but the teacher did!

　　六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的'怀抱。

　　约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：学校怎么样?你过的好吗?哭了没有?

　　哭?约翰问，不，我没哭，可老师哭了。

　　英语故事小笑话 6

　　Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

　　Tom: Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go Slow" .

　　老师：汤姆，你为什么每天上学迟到？

　　汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着：“学校——慢行”。

　　英语故事小笑话 7

　　A few months after Tom and I were married一during World War II, he was shipped off to Pearl Harbor. In one of his first letters，he wrote，"Im going to have a Navy battle-ship tattooed on my chest.”

　　Instead of pleading, I answered simply,“Send me a pitcture of your tattoo，and Ill have a duplicate put on my chest. "

　　We have been married for 51 years. Neither of us has a tattoo.

　　英语故事小笑话 8

　　Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

　　Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

　　Mrs. Brown: Its no use, my little dog cant read.

　　布朗夫人：哦，

　　亲爱的，我把珍爱的`小狗给丢了！

　　史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！

　　布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”

　　英语故事小笑话 9

　　About to be shipped out on a long tour of duty over-seas，I had called my wife from a coin-operated telephone at an Army camp on the West Coast. As I walked away，the phone rang，and I answered it，expecting to be told of extra charges. "I thought youd like to know,"the operator said,"that just after you hung up，the woman said,I love you. "

　　即将因工作远征出海，我就在西海岸军营地用一个投币电话给我的妻子拨了个电话。我刚要离开，电话铃响了。我估计是让我交超时费，所以只好去接。接话员说:“我想你可能想知道，你刚挂断电话，那个女的就说‘我爱你’。”

　　英语故事小笑话 10

　　"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly whats wrong with me."

　　He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "Ive just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, Im an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."

　　“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。

　　“我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。”

　　他从头到脚打量打量她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅；第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的.美貌将会改变。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”

　　英语故事小笑话 11

　　As the mother of three small children born two years apart, Im often very tired in the evening. Their father and I have set strict rules that after stories，prayers, one drink and the bathroom scene，they must go to bed and stay there.

　　One night，after a particularly trying day，all three were finally tucked in and I headed to the kitchen for some cookies，milk and solitude. I had just started to relax when I was surrounded by three little people，standing there watching me eat. Turning to their father I asked，"Do we relent or stick with the rules?"

　　Our three-year-old piped up，”Stick with the rules,Mom. "

　　Knowing she didnt really want to be sent back to bed,I asked，"And what are the rules，Mellisa?"

　　"Share with one another,"she replied.

　　英语故事小笑话 12

　　Nurse: Dont you like your new baby sister, Johnnie?

　　保育员：约翰尼，你难道不喜欢你的小妹妹吗?

　　Johnnie: Shes all right, but I wish she had been a boy. Willie Smith had got a new sister, and now hell think Im trying to copy him.

　　约翰尼：那倒不是。她要是个男孩就好了。威利有了一个新生的.小妹妹，现在他该认为我又在学他的样子了。

　　英语故事小笑话 13

　　Boy: Is this seat empty?

　　Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

　　男孩：这个座位是空的么？

　　女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的`座位也将是空的。

　　英语故事小笑话 14

　　Dad: Tom, please tell me, which month has 28 days?

　　Tom: Every month.

　　爸爸：告诉我汤姆，哪个月有28天呢？

　　汤姆：每个月都有啊！

　　英语故事小笑话 15

　　Instead of pleading, I answered simply,“Send me a pitcture of your tattoo，and Ill have a duplicate put on my chest. "

　　We have been married for 51 years. Neither of us has a tattoo.

　　英语故事小笑话 16

　　Walking to work one day, my husband was hit by a car. It was a minor accident and the driver apologized，adding; "You certainly are lucky. Were right next to a doctors office."

　　"I dont know how lucky that is ,"my husband replied."I m the doctor. "

　　英语故事小笑话 17

　　Hello everyone!My name is ~~.Now,I am 12 years old. I am from ~~.I am a student in NO.1middle school .I like football with my sister after school .I am good at drawing.And i am likelearning English.Ican speak very well!

　　Do you want to make friend with me ?

　　译文

　　大家好!我的名字是~ ~.现在,我12岁了.我来自~ ~.我就读于第一中学.我喜欢踢足球和我姐姐在放学后.我擅长于画画.我喜欢学习英语. 我能讲英语讲得很好!

　　你想和我交朋友吧?