幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。以下是小编为大家准备的，一起来爆笑精选笑死人英语笑话吧!
精选笑死人英语笑话(一)
A father with his four years old son supermarket,
Son suddenly asked: "Dad, why do I not a virgin?"
Instant air solidification,
We are waiting to see what the scientific explanation of the father will give son how,
I saw the father thought for a moment,
Then calmly said: "because you did not live in that month......"
一个爸爸带着他四岁左右的儿子逛超市，
儿子突然发问：“爸爸，我为啥不是处女? ”
瞬间空气凝固，
大家都在等着看这个爸爸会给儿子怎样的科学解释，
只见这个爸爸沉思片刻，
然后淡定地说：“因为你没生在那个月份……”
精选笑死人英语笑话(二)
.Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?”
“A kid bit me,”replied Ivan.
“Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother.
“I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.”
他的耳朵在我的衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事?”
“一个男孩咬了我一口。”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说，“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里。”
精选笑死人英语笑话(三)
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
5.Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”
“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”
一盒小火柴
妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。汤米回来后，妈妈问他，“你买的是好用的火柴吗?”
“是的，妈妈。”汤米回答，“我把它们都试过了。”