笑话大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。小编你挑选了英语笑话大全笑死你，希望你会喜欢，一起来欢乐笑笑啊!
英语笑话大全笑死你【1】
My Sister's Fingers 我妹妹的手指头
Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time.
Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.
Teacher: I don't see any bandages.
Kevin: Oh, they weren't mine. I told my little sister to hold the nail.
老师：凯温，这次你怎么又迟到了?
凯温：对不起，老师，我在家钉钉子，砸坏了两个手指头。
老师：怎么没有扎绷带呀?
凯温：噢，砸的不是我的手指头。我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。
英语笑话大全笑死你【2】
He Swore to Die 他发誓要死
"If you refuse to marry me," he swore, "I shall die." She refused him.
He died sixty years later.
“你如果拒绝和我结婚，”他发誓说，“我就要死。”她拒绝了他。六十年以后，他死了。
英语笑话大全笑死你【3】
Improvement 进步
One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"
"Fine. I used to be the one who couldn't understand Englishmen, and now it's Englishmen who can't understand me."
一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样了?”
“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了”
英语笑话大全笑死你【4】
Whose Fault谁的错
Teacher: Betty, you made so many mistakes in your exercises, surely your mother will blame you!
Betty: Blame me? Oh, no. On the contrary, I'll blame her, because it was she that did my homework instead.
老师：贝蒂，你作业中出了这么多错，你妈妈一定会责怪你的!
贝蒂：责怪我?啊，不会的。正相反，我倒要怪她呢，是她替我做的作业。