职场秘籍:英文简历中绝不能出现的内容

时间:2021-02-15 17:36:24 求职英语 我要投稿

职场秘籍:英文简历中绝不能出现的内容

致命的'大错


"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."


"Qualifications: No education or experience."


"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."


"My compensation should be at least equal to my age."


"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."


"Fired because I fought for lower pay."


"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6'5" 。


" "Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."


"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."


"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately."


打字错误与语法错误


"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."


"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."


"I am a rabid typist."


"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."


"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work."


"Accounting cleric."


"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments."


"Suspected to graduate early next year."


"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."


"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."


"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."


"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."


"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."


不应有的幽默


"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."


"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook。)


"But wait...there's more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."


"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."


"My fortune cookie said, 'Your next interview will result in a job'-and I like your company in particular."


"Title: Another resume from the 'Profiles in Excellence' series."


"Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it."


"Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks."


"Let's meet so you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' over my experience."

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